What It’s Like to be Cyber Stalked

What It’s Like to be Cyber Stalked

My name is Julie Lancaster-Whann

I am 55 Years Old and I live in Florida

I Have Been the Victim of a Cyber-Stalker for at LEAST Two Decades

Julie Lancaster Whann 5

I want to dedicate this blog to all those unknown people out there that are being harassed, bullied and stalked.  You and I aren’t famous and therefor most will never hear our stories.  But we do have a very special bond with each other.  Although the details of our experiences will be different, our feelings are none the less, the same.

I’m With You!




I have noticed that Paul is severing my links in my website pages so I am going to reveal his middle name.  It is:

PAUL KEITH _ _ _ _

If you keep messing with my website Paul I will reveal your last name.


Looks like Paul was busy adding question marks after my sentences on my:


So I am ready to reveal the first and second letter of his last name. 

(Scratch that, I’m ready to reveal his name.)


His Full Name is:  Paul Keith Gray

of Charlotte, North Carolina


Yesterday, right after my revealing Paul’s first letter of his last name, there was an attack on my webhosting company.  I knew there would be.  My site was down for hours while they fended off the attack and restored my website.  Also last night someone accessed my website, there were thousands of files added and modified, with the log info wiped clean!

Gordon with Paul and Jeff_small

That is Paul to the left, Gordon in the middle and Gordon’s brother Jeff on the right.

Paul was a groomsman in our wedding in 1985.

Gordon with our stalker Paul_small

That is Gordon with Paul at our home in Hawaii when he came to visit.

He would pretend to be our friend all the while cyber-stalking me and sabotaging my website and all that I would do in my online activity.

We don’t have any current photos of Paul.  He became very anti-social around the time he gave us the computer in 2001 but he still looks similar. 


The Story Begins Here


This is going to be an ongoing blog that I will contribute to when I feel like it.  I won’t be posting new blog entries at the top of the page like a normal blog post.  I will be updating content at the bottom so that everything will be read top to bottom as in a series.  I did write a little in my,

Blogging With Julie Continues….

I wanted to start this blog as I have been the victim of a cyber stalker/hacker for almost two decades.  I finally decided to start talking about him as a way of exposing him openly.  They say not to talk about stalkers, or acknowledge them in any way publicly when you are being harassed.  But where has that gotten me?  I think it only gives him cover.  So screw what the experts say, I’m going to talk about him and expose him for the sick criminal that he is. 

I think that everyone knows what a stalker is.  I also think that everyone knows about cyber-bullying, how bullies will go onto social media and harass people that they don’t like, etc.  Well, cyber-stalking is someone that follows you around on the net stalking you.  Reading your email, getting into your accounts online and disabling them so that they no longer work, and need repair.  In my case my cyber-stalker lives in my website and prevents things from working correctly.  I’ll get into that more later on.  But he also gets into our Google and Youtube accounts, changing the numbers on our counters to make it look as if no one is watching our videos or reading our content.  I’ll get into that more as well.  But he has also replied to people that have been kind enough to leave some nice comments about our videos, with very snarky and sarcastic replies.  Things that we would never say to anyone.

I do have about a million more things to say about him but first I would like to introduce you to him,

His name is Paul. 

He lives in Charlotte, North Carolina and he is 53 years old.  He works for a major software company and has since the early 80’s.   We assume that he still works there.  He uses the computer knowledge of what he has learned from his job to stalk me online.  But before I get into that I want to give you some background on him.  He was my husbands best friend growing up in Charlotte.  He has been a guest in our home, was even in our wedding, we parted ways with him almost a decade ago because of what he was doing to me.  This stalking has gone on now for almost two decades that we know of, but I believe it goes back to the very beginning of his working at M__________.  In the early 90’s he sent my husband Gordon, a computer game called, Scorched Earth.  It ruined our computer at the time and we were never able to use it efficiently after that.  I even suggested to Gordon at the time, “What kind of a computer tech and friend, would send us a computer virus?  Wouldn’t he know better?”  Gordon just laughed it off, so did Paul when Gordon asked him about it. 

Paul writes programs for banks and other organizations and has won many awards from these establishments commending him for his work.

He has, in the past, been the tech that you call up in need of help with your computer.  He works from his home and has as many as 4 computers at a time.  Two of which he never hooks up to the internet so that they will always be “Clean.”

In 2001 Paul bought us a top of the line computer and had it sent to us.  It was made to his own specifications.  He had it built just for us.  He also built an identical one for himself.  It arrived right after 9/11.  He told Gordon at the time that it was for him because of his service to our country.  It was a gift to say, “Thank you.”  We were living in Maryland at the time, just 20 miles from the Pentagon.  Gordon is a retired Navy Chief.



The following is what I wrote on April 17, 2016 and posted to my,

Blogging With Julie Continues….:

(This was the introduction finally talking about my cyber-stalker to my readers.)


Now That I am Home

 I want to tell you something about what I go through all the time, and have for the past two decades.


Yes, I am finally going to talk about him.  I was reluctant to do so, I just wanted to wait until the time was right. That time is coming. I feel like it’s time I started talking because that is what you do when you are being stalked and harassed.  I’ll write more about that soon but here are a few of the details.  He has been my hacker/stalker for the past 2 decades.  He reads my email, hacks into my website, into my accounts on my computer.  He even gave us a computer in 2001 that he had specifically designed and had made himself, and he did it just to spy on us.  He was able to look at every photo, read every document, and even disable the computer anytime that he wanted to, and he would do it about every 2 months just for the fun of it.

My husband has known him since childhood but we parted ways with him nearly a decade ago because of what he does to me.  His name is Paul.  He works for a major software company and has since the early 80’s.   Our security that protects our website was unable to find him in our website for years but now they finally have.  They say that he is a very sophisticated hacker and they can tell that he spends a lot of time trying to disable our website, or get back into it.  In other words, they say his attacks on me are very “personal”.  They also say his strikes are very surgical in nature.  He is very skilled and he knows what he is doing.

I once wrote a friend of mine about how much I hated guns and went into an explanation of my biological father once strapping on his holster and guns and then pretending to be Clint Eastwood from some spaghetti western, then coming into the room and aiming the guns at me when I was a baby, sitting on my mother’s lap.  After he pulled the trigger a few times my mother said he suddenly had this look of horror on his face.  That is when he realized that he never checked to see if they were loaded or not.  My mother divorced him shortly after that. 

Long story short.  Less than 2 weeks after I wrote my friend that letter, I received in the mail 15 DVD’s on guns.  Mainly, spaghetti westerns.   Sent to me anonymously. I knew it was him.


the movies Paul sent me 1_small more movies that Paul sent to me 2_small

more movies Paul sent 3_small

When I opened the box of videos my first reaction was that the mailman had left one of my neighbors packages on our doorstep by mistake.  I then rechecked the name on the box, and it was me.  They were sent from a video store out in California.  I called and was told by someone that works there that someone had created an account in my name and paid for them and they sent them to me.  I can’t tell you anything other than that at this time.


My hope is to someday see him in jail where he can’t harm me or anyone else for that matter.  According to my website security company, his password that he used to create and access my accounts is, I LOVE YOU.

Terrifying, isn’t it? 

That’s not love, that’s obsession.  Love is healthy, not hazardous. 

There is nothing to protect women like me from stalker’s online.  I’m hoping the laws will come eventually.  Until then I will speak out.


p.s.  Most of the time when my website gets hacked, it’s him.  I’m sure my writing this will prompt some punishment towards me from him.  He always retaliates.  But FINALLY I’ve got people that are listening to me and are realizing how dangerous that he is.  The reason he targets me is because I am a woman that speaks out, and men like him hate that!  So to all women, and men out there that are being harassed, I stand with you.  So please stand with me.

None of us should have to go through this.

If my blog becomes disabled, like my last one did, it’s him!

I’ll write again soon.



April 25, 2016

My Stalker Paul

paul doing his stalking_small

(This photo even looks like him.  I found it online.)

I think that the most important thing that I can do first is to refer to Paul as my “Stalker”, or “Cyber-Stalker”.  

I believe that when people think about hackers, an image of some really cool smart guy pops into their heads.  Some underdog out there fighting for truth and justice against the oppressive establishment.  One of my most favorite movies is Sneakers, starring Robert Redford, Mary McDonnell, Dan Aykroid, Sidney Poitier, David Strathairn, and the late River Phoenix.  The movie was made in 1992.  It features a brilliant group of hackers that hack into banks to test the banks vulnerabilities and to close loop holes to prevent bank robberies.  And it’s the banks that hire them to do it.  They end up taking a job that is their biggest “Sneak” in order to clear Robert Redford’s character for doing some illegal hacking in his youth with another guy that ended up going to prison for the crimes while Redford’s character fled to Canada to avoid being caught.  I won’t go into it any further but it is a great movie and of course, I am on the “Sneaker’s” side.  It is just a movie after all and they aren’t harassing women in the movie. 

Another hacking movie that comes to mind is Hackers, starring Angelina Jolie, and Johnny Lee Miller (Zero Cool).  I like that movie too.  And guess who’s side I’m on?  The hackers!  But again, it’s just a movie and they aren’t harassing women online.

I also think that Hollywood tends to romanticize stalkers in movies and makes them out to be over passionate about a woman that they have feelings for.  But the reality is there is nothing romantic about it.  Ask Jodie Foster how “romantic” it was for John Hinkley Jr. to try and assassinate former President Ronald Reagan, just to impress her?

Lovely Rebecca Schaeffer_small

Rebecca Schaeffer

November 6, 1967 – July 18, 1989

  Ask actress Rebecca Schaeffer’s family how “romantic” it was for her to get gunned down at age 21 while answering the door to what she thought was a ‘flower delivery man’ in July 1989?  She was shot to death by a mentally ill man just 20 minutes after she had signed an autograph for him.  He became irate when she didn’t have time to be with him.  She died on the sidewalk outside her front door.  Before she died she screamed out, “Why?”


Her final word. 

Whenever something happens people always wonder, “Why?” 

They ask themselves that over, and over, and over again. 


Desperately trying so hard to understand. 


The answer? 

There is no “Why?!!!” 

People do what they do because it is in them to do it.!!

Crazy people think with crazy brains. 

The man that murdered Rebecca Schaeffer and robbed her of her life, his name is Robert John Bardo.  He plea bargained and got life imprisonment, put away by a then young assistant district attorney named, Marcia Clark, who later went on to try to convict O.J. Simpson.


Other famous victims of stalker’s include Catherine Zeta-Jones, Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Pitt, David Letterman, Sandra Bullock, John Lennon, Tippi Hedren, Sportscaster Erin Andrews, (she graduated from my son’s high school), and many, many more.  Some resulting in very serious consequences and even death.  

Remember the movie Fatal Attraction, starring Glenn Close and Michael Douglas?  That was probably one of the first movie’s that really depicted the serious danger of being stalked.  So I think we’re all familiar with how terrible it is to be stalked in life.  But cyber-stalking is something that is relatively new.  We have laws to protect me from someone that is stalking me right outside my door.  Granted, they are not always the best laws, depending in which state you may live.  But there is something.  In the cyber world, however, the laws just haven’t caught up yet.  Look at all the cyber bullying that goes on in social media.  Laws are being changed to protect people from that kind of abuse, but there is still a long way to go. 


Of course there are laws out there to protect the hacking of information from banks, corporations, politicians, etc. that then leads to the prosecution and conviction of those individuals.

But little ol’ Julie down in Florida?  Not so much.


Most of the Stalking that Paul does do to me is to my Website

(I never know when I go to it everyday if it will even be there or not.)

I do employ a website hosting company to host my site.  I also employ a security company to protect my website from hackers, malware and viruses.  Yet even they will admit that the HACKERS ARE WINNING!!!!  These security companies are always reacting to whatever new hacking tools and techniques are out there.  But the hackers eventually get in. 

I always said of Paul, “He doesn’t hack into our computer, he walks in with a key.”  I said that in 2002.  Now it’s 2016 and guess what?  All the experts are saying the same thing.  The hackers just walk right in through an open port or a backdoor.  No longer do they need your password.  I don’t think they ever did.  So when anyone tells you, “Just change your password.”  That’s just said to make you feel better.  To make you believe that your safe.  Just change your password.  Now, don’t you feel better already? 


NOTE:  At this writing, 4:30 p.m. 4/25/2016, Paul was just in my website removing the login and logout information trying to cover his tracks.  I was in the site at the same time and just when he blocked me out, I did a bit of copy and paste before he succeeded.  GOT YOU!  🙂


You see, according to my website security Paul has gone to a lot of trouble to create a mirrored log in to my WordPress website.  Two weeks ago malware wreaked havoc on my website and my security company kept informing me every day of it.  I would call them, we would talk, they would claim to do their scans and block portals, and then tell me everything was good.  Then the following day it would start all over again.  This went on for a week!

  I finally called them in something of a huff and I was really adamant that they fix my site.  They in turn, scolded me for withholding an additional log in.  I told them that I had given then all the info that I had.  That is when they told me about the “I Love You” log in. 

That’s when I exclaimed, “WHAT “I Love You” login??!!

Only then did they realize they needed to look deeper into the system and that is when they found him.

They told me that this was no normal hacker.  To which I replied something like, “DUH!”

They said that he is highly skilled and that his attacks are very “personal” in nature.  None of them had ever seen anything like this in their careers as tech support.  Most hackers just send out their bots to try and infiltrate websites and then once they do that is when they strike.  But my stalker, spends HOURS on his computer trying to get in when they block him.  Most hackers just move on. 

I have learned quite a bit about hacking because of all I have been through.  Every time Paul does something to me I learn something new. 

Did you know that there are good bots?  As well as bad?  It’s the good bots that push you up on Google’s ranking so that people can find you.  It’s the bad bots that try to infiltrate your website.

Sandra Bullock from The Net The Net Poster

The Net, Sandra Bullock

Did you also know that you can be erased from the net?  Whenever I think of that I always think of that movie with Sandra Bullock.  I believe the movie was called, The Net.  It’s when she was erased from the net by people that were after her. 

I don’t think that Paul can wipe out my existence, but he can erase me from the Google rankings and then no one can find our website to view it.  I have noticed that we just don’t show up in Google like we used to.  In the past you could Google, The Mummy Halloween and all of our stuff from our Mummy Halloween would show up.  Now NOTHING does!

Our numbers are falling, our ranking is falling, and there is NOTHING that I can do about it.

More to come…….


April 26, 2016

Julie blogging snap shot_small

When I was talking above about famous celebrities that have been stalked I failed to mention the ones like me, the unknown people out there, that go through this everyday.  Whether that stalking is of a physical nature or an online nature, it’s still stalking.  The difference between celebrities and me is that they have the money to protect themselves.  They can live in their big beautiful mansions with their tall walls surrounding their beautiful environments, and install their fancy security systems, and even hire some security detail.  They have the money to hire people to constantly monitor their interests online and fix them continuously when they get infiltrated.  We don’t have that kind of money. 

I have a Paypal button on the website home page but Paul keeps disabling it so that no one can contribute to us in order to keep our website going, or to help with the costs of all the security that we have to hire just to have a website that we have every legal right to.   Perhaps there were some kind people out there in the past that tried to contribute to us. 

But we will never know. 


I don’t really know.  That’s usually not what he does.  He won’t target this page specifically, that would be too obvious.   Oh, he will add some little things like attaching links to the photographs so that when a person browsing the net comes across a photo and clicks on it to read more, it will take them to a blank page with just the one photo on it.  If he does anything it will be to try and bring down the whole website.  Which he has done already.

We do have backup that we can restore it.  Our web hosting company also keeps a backup.  He can disable it so that I can’t open it again and add new content.  That’s what he did to my:

Blogging With Julie

The Above is my Blog Post That Paul had Disabled

He had blocked my ability to open it and work on it again.  Neither my web hosting company, nor my protection service could unblock the measures that he had put in place.  So how did I get it back?  I had to recreate it and copy and paste all the content from the page he disabled, to the new one that I then created.  It’s a lot of extra work to do.  That’s the kind of thing he does to me.  He erases what I do so that I have to go back and do it again. 



Imagine that you had just spent a lot of time on painting a beautiful landscape.  You had set up your easel and your paints all spread out in front of you.  It was a beautiful day and you had wonderful inspiration.  You were so excited about what you were doing.  You spent hours on it, being creative made you happy.  You were very proud of what you produced and what came out of you, then you put it out there for people to look at.  Some people liked what you did and enjoyed looking at it, others really didn’t care much, but they were at least respectful, but then along comes Paul and he destroys it.  Because whatever it is that I produce, he will always destroy.  Sometimes not fully, just rips and tears here and there.  Sometimes in places that you don’t really notice at first.  Sometimes very subtle, sometimes very obvious, depending on his mood. 

You look at the damage that he’s done to your beautiful painting and it makes you sad.  All the hours put into it, just gone.  So being the “painter” that I am, I will paint another one, and another one, and another one.  Because it is in me to do so. 

He may keep on destroying my work, but that doesn’t stop me from working.

Why does he do it?  Because it is in him to do it!



Most people have heard of psychopaths and know what they are.  I do think a picture of a serial killer tends to come to mind. 

And yes,  serial killers are usually psychopaths.  But what most people don’t realize is that statistically, 1 in 100 men in America are psychopaths.  And you come in contact with them most everyday.  They are your doctors, lawyers, politicians, neighbors,……..

They usually tend to go very far in life because they are psychopaths.  They don’t have a problem running over whomever they need to in order to succeed.  They have no empathy for anyone.  When you have no feelings then it’s easy to hurt people.  It’s easy to ruin lives, play with people as if they are chess pieces in a game.

It is very rare for women to be psychopaths, but there are a few out there.

Psychopaths are Born, Sociopaths are Made

When I say that Paul is a sociopath that means that he has no feelings.  He will never experience any guilt or remorse for what he does to me or anyone else in his life.  He sees himself as above the law.  (Hence the fact that he continually breaks the law by hacking into my website and accounts online.)

He will never have any empathy for me or anyone else for that matter.   Both psychopaths and sociopaths can be very charming.  They are usually very intelligent. 

This is why polygraphs are inadmissible in a court of law.  They can pass them with ease!!

He can visit with us, eat our dinner, laugh and talk with us pretending to be our friend, and then retreat back to his “lair” and start destroying what I’ve worked to hard to create online.

In other words, he is pure evil!



If you ever find yourself in need of taking a polygraph, NEVER let the police department do it for you!!  Make sure you hire someone independent of the police department.  Someone that has no interest in whether you are guilty or not-guilty.  The police department can control the results if they give the test.


The last time Gordon saw Paul was over 16 years ago.  At the time Paul had a “girlfriend” named Lib.  ( I have a theory on the “girlfriend” that I will keep to myself.)  Lib had told Gordon that he was Paul’s only friend.  She also told Gordon that Paul didn’t like his twin brother and sister, or his mother for that matter.  Paul’s father also never accepted him, from what we’ve been told.


The very sad thing here is that Psychopaths and Sociopaths can’t help the way they are.

Psychopaths are just born that way.  They are hard-wired that way.  It isn’t their fault.  Sociopaths are made that way from their life experiences.  It really isn’t their fault or their doing.  Yet it is very hard to feel sorry for people that have turned out to be so evil and continue to inflict that evil on others.

When I referenced above that “Crazy people think with crazy brains.”  I am not in any way putting down mentally ill people.  I am criticizing “Crazy people.”  There is a difference.  I have a brother that is a paranoid schizophrenic, he is the most harmless person around.  His wife Brenda is also mentally ill.  She is a paranoid schizophrenic/bi-polar person.  Again, the most harmless person you will ever know.  The very sad thing about Brenda is that her parents dropped her off in an orphanage in the Philippines when she was 5 and came over to America, bringing with them their baby Christine, Brenda’s younger sister.  They finally went back to the Philippines to get Brenda 11 years later and to bring her to America, when she was 16.  Can you imagine being abandoned by your parents for 11 years?  It would make anyone go insane, especially a child.  Who knows what happened to her those 11 years in the orphanage?   She was such a pretty girl.

I’m not saying that anything happened to her in that orphanage, but I know how some people tend to treat children that they view as “unwanted”.


A Word On Mental Illness

You know, when your body gets sick no one stands around you and laughs and points.  No one would dream of standing around your hospital bed where you lay dying of cancer and laugh at you, point their finger at you and rejoice in your illness.  But if your mind is sick, they do.

No one wants to give money to mental illness research because no one want to give money to “crazy people”, but they will give money to cancer causes. 

Well, FYI:  2 in 5 American adults suffer from some form of mental illness.  Just watch the news and view the supporters of certain political candidates and that fact is OBVIOUS!!

Now throw guns in the mix and you have the United States of America!!


More to come………


NOTE:  4/26/2016 Security company just called to let us know of suspicious malware that they are removing as I type this.

So, what else is new?


April 28, 2016

NOTE:  Yesterday morning I tried to log in to view my website to look at it but the page told me that I was being BLOCKED!!!  Blocked from viewing my OWN WEBSITE!!!

I then tried to log in to my website and guess what??  I WAS BLOCKED!!!

So Gordon and I contacted our web hosting company and security companies to find out the problem.  And guess what?  THEY WERE BLOCKED OUT AS WELL!!!

Finally yesterday afternoon I was able to view my website but then it disappeared into oblivion and my web hosting company had to restore it.  I had to pay an additional $25.00.  It took about 8 hours to do so.  We went to bed last night not knowing whether we would have a website today or not. 

Woke up this morning and guess what??  I cannot view my website because I was BLOCKED OUT OF IT!!!

I cant’ log into my website because I WAS BLOCKED OUT OF IT TOO!!!

FINALLY, we are back in but noticed that Paul has been a very busy boy.  Deleted photos and disrupted things.  Modifying things that shouldn’t be modified AND messing with our Paypal button, according to our Wordfence security. 

My, my, my……

Can you say, “GET A LIFE?”

I’m still trying to restore the photos to this page that Paul had deleted.  I think it quite ironic that the blog posts that were messed up, and the photos deleted from, were the ones where I speak of him.

You know, I would much rather be blogging about something that I had created, or a project that I was working on, or a recipe that Gordon or I had made.  But thanks to you, here I am.  I will continue to blog about you until you leave me alone.  Gordon and I have had it!  You have cost us tens of thousands of dollars over the years, you have cost us many hours, days, weeks, and months of work that you have just deleted for the sheer fun of it. 

Either you stop or we will stop YOU!!


As of about 5:30 p.m. on April 28, 2016, I believe that he is in my website.  He’s still here according to the log in info.


More to come………

Our History With Paul

Gordon met Paul when they were children living in Charlotte.  They were acolytes together at their Church. 

Gordon is probably the nicest guy you will ever meet in your life.  He is very genuine, caring, passive, helpful, kind, forgiving, funny…. the list goes on and on…..

Gordon asked Paul to be a Groomsman in our wedding.

Trust me when I say that we both regret that Gordon even asked him.



Outside Frost Chapel_small



When Gordon retired from the Navy, me, Veronica and Brodie went to his retirement party at his job, I was so surprised to see so MANY PEOPLE THERE!  I unfortunately figured it would be just some laid back pot-luck dinner that I ended up being 45 minutes late, thinking that it would be no big deal.  I was very surprised to see just how many people adored Gordon and were there to honor him.  ( Had I known that I would have shown up on time.)  🙂

Funny thing is that a former President had made a surprise visit the day that Gordon’s retirement was to take place, so he had to change his retirement around him, and have the party the day before.  This President has been something of a “pain” his entire reign, so no surprise here.

Gordon is the best friend that anyone could ever have, because he will be loyal to you forever.  And Gordon was loyal to Paul long after I was trying to convince Gordon that Paul was my stalker/hacker. 

More on that coming soon…..


I first met Paul when Gordon and I were dating.  Gordon was 17 and I was 21, the older woman.  🙂

We both worked at Carowinds Amusement Park in North Carolina. 

Gordon was Yogi Bear and I worked on the Log Flume Ride.

(I wrote the following blog entry on my Blogging with Julie blog that I wanted to repost here.  The Gordon and Julie early years. )


January 11, 2016

Happy Belated Birthday Gordon, (and Elvis)

(I wrote this about me and Gordon when we met so many years ago.  I wanted to repost it as it is significant here.)

January 8th. is Gordon’s (and Elvis’s) birthday.  Gordon turned 51, whereas Elvis would have turned 81, had he lived.

I wanted to honor, BOTH!

I know I am a bit late, I started the year off late and it looks like that is my new pace.  But I think it was Elizabeth Taylor that made it fashionable, so I guess I am in good company.  Or at least, extravagant company.  After all, she made arrangements before she died that her body would arrive at the funeral 45 minutes late.  Hence the saying, “You will be late to your own funeral.”  I love it!

Because we have been so busy we have decided to postpone Gordon’s birthday celebration to this coming weekend, that way we can all be together.  Even then we are very low key.  There will be lots of good food and company and that is all that matters.  But I did want to share some photos of Gordon in the early years.  My, my, how time flies.

Gordon in Yogi_small

Gordon as Yogi Bear

This is where we met.  Gordon worked at Carowinds Amusement Park in North Carolina.  He wore the Yogi Bear costume.  He worked there for 3 years, even opening for acts like Bob Hope, Journey, The Osmonds, etc. as Yogi Bear.

Gordon as Yogi Bear at Carowinds_small

Here is Gordon as Yogi Bear with my little brother’s Frank and Ben to the left, and our Laotian friends, Poit, Oy, Suvat, Chantechan, and Dwainchi.

Julie at Carowinds with little brothers and friends_small

That is me in the back with the pink jacket on, I think the year is 1981.  We were enjoying the park.

I also worked at the park on the log flume ride.  I would sit at the top of the lift and I could press a button to halt the boats before they went over the falls.  Whenever we had a rock group performing at Carowinds they would always ride the log flume as it was the best ride in the park.  So whenever the rock group JOURNEY would ride it I always made sure that there was some reason for me to halt the boat, at the top of the lift,  before it went over the falls so that I would talk to them.   Yeah, I was that bad!

My excuse was that the other boats are backed up so I have to stop you here for a minute or two before I let you go over the falls.

Hey, we would have to do that occasionally, ya know.

My Most Favorite Journey Song

I’ve told people that if I am ever in a coma just put head phones on me and blast every Journey song into those headphones.  But especially this song.

But how Gordon and I met, was because his dressing room trailer was directly below my log flume lift where I would sit several stories in the air.  He would wave up at me and I would throw ice on him as he would walk by from my cup.  Romantic, huh?

We dated for two years before we got engaged by the 3rd. year.  I moved to Rome, Georgia, where I was originally from, to live with my grandmother, and he moved down to be near me.  He rented my Great Uncle and Aunt’s garage apartment just a few houses away from my grandmother’s.  I lived in her basement apartment.

We got married in 1985 and then moved directly to Florida.  Here are some of those photos.

Baywatch perhaps_small

Yeah, I was lucky!!  

Julie at the beach 2_small Julie snorkeling_small

But so was HE!

scuba diving in Douglas Dam Lake Tennessee_small

Gordon is a PADI DiveMaster

Gordon the PADI Divemaster_small

This is when he joined the Navy to be a Navy Diver.

Gordon and Julie Waikiki Beach 1986_small

On the Beach at Night in Waikiki

And this is when we moved to Hawaii so that he could be that Navy Diver.

(Little did I realize but I am pregnant with Veronica here.)

Happy 51 Gordon!

Love you so much!



As for Elvis………..


Elvis on Hanauma Bay, We Used to Snorkel Here

( I almost drowned here.  I went too far out and had a hard time getting back.  The currant was very rough.)

We all owe Elvis a big debt of gratitude.  If it weren’t for him then Rock and Roll would have been a fad, like Disco.

He kept Rock and Roll going and inspired so many artists to get into Rock and Roll.

The Beatles once said that if there hadn’t been an Elvis, there would not have been The Beatles.

When The Beatles came to Graceland to meet Elvis they were so in awe of him that they didn’t say anything.  So Elvis said something like this, ‘Well, if you aren’t going to say anything, then I am going up to bed.’

He was one of a kind.  That is what I love the most about him.  There will never be another person like him.   I miss those original human beings that we used to produce.  Now people seem to be ‘a dime a dozen’ kind of talent.

Here’s to the originals!!  The one’s that dare to be different!  I will always be impressed!



More to come……


Gordon was on his way home from work last night when he called me and placed his cell phone against the radio and this was playing……

He knows how much I love local Hawaiian born Bruno.

It made me smile and made me happy.

We can all get through anything with a good support system.  🙂


April 29, 2016

G and J MD_small

Gordon and Julie

Fort Meade, Maryland

December 2002/January 2003?

(In the photo Gordon is 37 and I am 41.)

The photo above is one of the only ones we have from our years of living in Maryland.  Paul managed to erase most of them from the computer he gave us, which we had saved them onto.  Deleting all of them.  And enjoying it, I’m sure.

We were living in Maryland from about 1999 to 2003.  We had just moved there from our 13 years in Hawaii.  We were just 20 miles from the Pentagon when it was hit on 9/11.  We didn’t know anyone personally that was killed, but we knew people, that knew people, and we cried right along with them.  Our base was put on lock down for a week.  I was at home watching the news when it happened.  I saw the second plane hit in real time.  Gordon was at work and Veronica and Brodie were at school.  Their schools were put on lock down and it wasn’t until hours later I was able to pick them up from school.  You know I really don’t want to go into any of that.  I have my opinions of 9/11 which I am not going to share with you, but 9/11 plays into Paul’s narrative of the reason he gave Gordon the computer that he used to spy on us with. 

The military life can be a very poor life.  You get paid below the poverty line, sometimes you live in condemned housing, you live paycheck to paycheck, that is if they manage not to screw your pay up, which I guarantee that every single military family can tell you of a good 200 horror stories of having their pay messed up and NO, I am not exaggerating.  So if you don’t get paid, how can you then pay your bills?  Oh, and your pay doesn’t get straightened out anytime soon.  Sometimes it takes months, sometimes it takes years.  This is why military families usually don’t have the best credit.  Most of the time it isn’t their fault.

When Gordon came in to the Navy he won the Navy League Award right out of boot camp.  He was then frocked by a Captain and was able to make rank very quickly.  He went from an E-1 to an E-4 in less than a year.  Unheard of in most military situations. 

I was the President of the Worden Wives Club in 1987 when Gordon was aboard the U.S.S. Worden, I was pregnant with Veronica.  The ship was deployed at the time.  I then went on to become the Ombudsman of the Worden as well.  I was the liaison between the ship’s families and the ship’s command.  I enjoyed my job very much but I had to work with a certain disingenuous chaplain that would take my ideas and then present them as his own to the command, who would then embrace them.  So I lasted at that job for only about 6 months.  But during my time as Ombudsman I did my best to pass on all the benefit information to the families that the military keeps quiet on.  Yes, that’s right.  You have so many benefits that they will never tell you about.  BUT, if you find out what they are, only then will they give them to you.

The life of a Navy wife, or any military spouse for that matter, means a lot of separation as your husband/wife is gone quite frequently on deployments.  It’s usually just you and your kids left alone for months at a time.  In Gordon’s early military career there was not a lot of money.  We were even on food stamps for awhile.  Veronica was on the WIC program for her first 5 years of her life.  WIC is Women, Infants, and Children.  It’s a welfare program that provided Veronica with baby formula, cereal, milk, beans, that kind of thing.  It really helped us.  This was while we were living in Hawaii in the late 80’s.  Also our car was always breaking down and it was always while Gordon was deployed.  So I bought a Chilton’s Handbook on my car and I read it and learned how to fix it myself.  When the car wouldn’t start I followed the directions in the book and disassembled the dashboard and discovered that a cable had come unplugged and I simply plugged it back together, reassembled the dash, then off I went.  I was so proud of myself!  🙂  I learned to carry that book with me everywhere, along with a few tools. 

Another time I had a bad battery but I didn’t have the money to buy a new one so I carried a hammer with me and when the car wouldn’t start I would pop the hood, tap the battery in certain places, creating a charge and I would be able to start the car.  Believe me when I say that I know what it is like to be poor!

As Gordon rose in the ranks, so did our pay.  Little by little.  So to get back to my point.  When you don’t have much money, a gift of a top of the line brand new computer from a friend, was very WELCOME! 

Or so we thought……..

NOTE:  At this writing I just checked my log in to website info and “someone” had adjusted the setting to allow for another computer logging into my website.  Wonder who that could be??

As of 4/29/2016:  My human traffic statistics disappeared from my security web account.  They think that my web traffic could be in the process of being “rerouted”  wonder by whom?


May 1, 2016


stalking keyhole_small

Within a few months of Paul giving us that computer I started noticing things in my email that would be strange.  I could see my email being opened and read right in front of my eyes and I wasn’t touching anything.  Then I would see the emails being marked as ‘unread’ after they were ‘read’.  I knew I wasn’t doing it.  It was always at night after 10:00 p.m.  I was smart enough to know that someone was reading my email, I just didn’t know who.  So I would quickly change the password.  There!  I’ve got you out!  Only to see the mail opened and read right in front of my eyes the next evening. 

I told Gordon about it.  He didn’t know what to think about it.  He just sort of shrugged it off, but I couldn’t.  I knew something was going on, I just didn’t know what.  This went on for months.  I knew my email was being read by someone but I didn’t know what to do about it, and I didn’t know who was doing it?  When we would ask other people their standard answer was always, “Just change your password.”  I would explain to them that I do!  But whoever it is keeps getting in my email no matter how many times I change it.  Usually the response I would get from people is either they would just shrug their shoulders, or they would look at me as if I was some paranoid idiot.  Most people just didn’t know what to think about what I was telling them and just sort of shrugged it off themselves. 

A Note About Email

stalking song_small

In order for someone to know every single thing about you all they have to do is to read your email.  EVERYTHING is in there!  All your families names, your friends, your co-workers, your acquaintance’s, your clients/customers…..  Every personal thing you have ever written to anyone, every photo you have ever sent, every link you have ever forwarded.  Every purchase that you make online, the receipt shows up in your email.  Every club or organization that you belong to or contribute to, those emails are in your account.  Your politics, what website newsletters that you subscribe to.  If you order prescription’s online, your medications show up in your email account.  Let’s say you decide to take a trip.  Your airline reservations are sent to your email account.  Where you are going, when you are going, how long you will be gone, when you will return…….the hotel/motel in which you are staying, sometimes even your room number and who is traveling with you. 

If you have animals then your dogs or cats vet appointments show up in your email, YOUR own doctor appointment reminders come through your email.  He knows when you are at the doctor and which doctor you are seeing.  Dentist appointment reminders, when you order a pizza online the delivery receipt and time of delivery is in your email.  When you change your password in your other online accounts, new passwords show up or codes for you to enter into whichever account, in order to change the password information.  You know, those “temporary passwords”.  All anyone has to do is monitor your email and they can get the password change codes before you do. 

In Paul’s case he can look at our email and know exactly what company hosts my website, exactly which company security protects it, what security that I hire to protect it.  Then he can buy programs from other hackers online that specialize in those security companies and how to bypass their security codes in order to access my website.

Everything that anyone would ever want to know about you is in your email.  From mild to severe, he knows everything!  Remember that!

Most of you don’t have stalkers after you that care what is in your email.  But I do!  Therefor, he knows EVERYTHING there is to know about me, Gordon, and even Veronica and Brodie, Monk and Sugar.

To be continued…….

Note:  We also discovered that during our time in Maryland, and even when we moved down here to Florida, that Paul was/is also monitoring our daughter’s email as well.  Cyber stalking her from her young teens right into adulthood.  I can’t say anything more about that at this time. 

Another Note:  For the past 3 days our security stats are not recording correctly, looks like my website is being rerouted.  Wonder who’s up with that?


May 2, 2016

Paul is a Panty Sniffer

Now, I realize that the term I’m using above is probably not the most excepted in decent circles but there is nothing decent about Paul.  The first word that came to my mind was Voyeur, but he would probably like that term too much so I am sticking to the real Paul, the panty sniffer. 

After Paul gave us the computer and we started adding our things to it and getting it all set up, I’m sure it was something that Paul greatly anticipated.  He even talked Gordon through setting it up via telephone.  He was, oh so helpful.  He helped us get our email accounts set up and all these great programs that he sent to us to download onto it.  We were so excited to own this fabulous computer.  Wasn’t he so special to give it to us??

We are living in Maryland at this time. 

My grandmother had died in 2000 and my mother and I, because I was a such a big Ebayer, I suggested to my mother that we perhaps sell some of my grandmother’s things that no one wanted on Ebay.  It was a way of making some money and having some of my grandmother’s things go to nice homes.  Helping to add to other people’s collections.  We were very successful with selling on Ebay that my mother suggested that I start listing her rental condo to see if we could rent it that way?  The rental agency in which she employed in Indian Shores could never rent it.  They said it is because most people want on the beach and her condo is across the street from the beach, so I told my mother I would give it a try.  I ended up doing very well with getting renters from Ebay, some of which still come back year after year to this day.  As a matter of fact I’ve got the very first family I ever rented to on Ebay coming next month.  🙂  Thank you Angela!

  Because of the cost of listing on Ebay constantly, I talked to my parents about my starting a website and Gordon suggested that we hire Paul to get it set up for us?  So Gordon talked to Paul about creating our website.  I chose the name of it, BarefootByTheBeach.  So I gathered up all our photos from our trips down to the condo in Indian Shores, my parents sent me theirs as well, we then forwarded all this info to Paul who then set to work creating our website for us.  He told us the domain name would cost $250.00 but that he wouldn’t charge us any money as our web designer.  Wasn’t that nice??  My parents sent me a check to give to Paul, they were so grateful to Paul for doing our website for free that they offered him a free week at the condo every year as a thank you.  (In case your wondering, he never took them up on that offer.  Even though Paul’s “girlfriend” Lib would come down to St. Pete with her girlfriends every year, but never with Paul.  Hmmm…)

I was so excited to have a website and it looked really nice so I continued to list on Ebay directing people over to our website from there hoping to then just have the website to rely on eventually once it got some notice. People I was writing to on Ebay (Ebay rules weren’t as strict back then as they are now) started informing me that when they went to the site that it didn’t work, or they couldn’t access any information, or that the address link was no longer there, and also that the email didn’t work on it.  Some Ebayers that were interested in renting our condo got scared off and I think saw me as being deceitful. So I started paying closer attention to the website and even testing the email button here and there and I noticed that it was disabled and not working.  So I emailed Paul.  Paul never gets back to you quickly, only after a few days will he reply.  He told me that he would look into it.  So I am assuming that our “friend” was taking care of it.  I then went on with life as usual thinking that things were fine.  But they never were.  I kept hearing complaints from people (phone calls) that were viewing the website and the email link ending up being disabled for 9 months!  I started bugging Paul about getting our email link fixed but he informed me that the guys that do that wouldn’t be back for 2 months so that there was nothing he could do about it.  It was then that I decided to use some reverse psychology on him and I started questioning their ability as computer techs?  What company would hire people like them to work on their websites when they can’t even fix something as simple as an email link that’s been disabled for 9 months?  How do any of you even have a job?  Right after I said that to Paul, the email link was repaired the very next day. 

I knew that Paul was sabotaging our website, and Gordon was starting to get suspicious as well, yet still willing to give Paul the benefit of the doubt.  I also started suspecting Paul of constantly sabotaging our computer and our accounts on it, especially my email.  Paul started to become very predictable.  He would read my email, see something that he didn’t like, then disable the computer the very next day.  During these years he started becoming darker and darker.  His religious info that he kept sending me was becoming very disturbing.  He started harassing me about religion.  I myself am more of a spiritual person than a religious one.  But in Paul’s view, if I don’t believe exactly like he does, then I am the heathen and I deserve whatever he does to me. 

I do believe that Paul sees himself as a self anointed warrior to God.  I also think he sees himself as “God-like” when he gets into all my accounts online and can disable them at any moment, deleting whatever he wants to.  He is overseeing me, so to speak.  Watching me, as God watches over all this flock.  Then when God sees us do something that he doesn’t like, that’s when he “punishes” us.  I think in Paul’s mind that is what he is doing.  He watches over me, then when I don’t meet with his expectations, he punishes me.  In a lot of southern churches there are what is known as ‘fire and brimstone’ preaching.  I think that’s how Paul see’s it.  God loves us so much that he will cast us into a sea of fire so that we will suffer for all eternity if we dare not meet with his expectations. 

You know, because he loves us…..

Children that grow up in these fundamentalist homes tend to grow up not being able to distinguish fact from fiction throughout their lives. 


A Word About Elizabeth Smart

When Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped and taken by that horrific man that I cannot even remember his name, who entered her bedroom in the middle of the night in Utah, the man was a white man with long brown hair and wearing flowing white robes.  The point that I am getting at here is that when you teach your children that Jesus will come and get you and take you away with him to heaven and that you are to follow him and go with him, then don’t be surprised if they actually do when a man matching that description enters their bedroom.

Now, I don’t know that Elizabeth Smart’s family ever taught her that, but plenty of families in the south do.  I was just trying to make a point. 


But back to Paul.  Paul kept becoming more and more strange.  He told us to no longer call him on his phone that he no longer had it.  He gave us his “girlfriend” Lib’s cell number and we were to just call her and she would pass the message onto him.  Funny thing is, she never ever answered the phone whenever we would call, but exactly TWO days later Paul would call us back.  That was never Lib’s cell phone.  It was just another example of how paranoid and dark that Paul was becoming.  He started getting his mail at P.O. boxes and no longer where he was living. 

I was putting up with a lot of B.S. from him and I didn’t like it.  Gordon’s job sent him around the world so I was the one at home to deal with everything.  Paul started taking advantage of that.  He knew that I was alone to deal with computer problems, and website problems, etc.  Not to mention raising children all by myself.  He knew that the only form of communication that me, Veronica and Brodie had with Gordon was via email.  So why not make things harder on us by bringing the computer crashing down so that we couldn’t communicate with him?  And he did over, and over, and over, again.  I didn’t have any cash to keep on pouring into the constant repairs of the computer so I started running up the credit cards.  We missed Gordon and wanted to talk to him.  Gordon had told me that if I ever experience any more computer issues to give Paul a call.  I seem to remember grimacing when he would say things like that.  So I would follow the paranoid’s instructions, call Lib’s cell, leave her a message, then EXACTLY TWO DAYS later Paul would call.  Try and talk me through the computer issues, pleasant and as friendly as could be all the while stabbing us in the back every single time. 

Like I said, SOCIOPATH!


NOTE:  Last night, 5-2-2016, Paul was trying FOR HOURS to access our log in for our website.  I was in the website monitoring it for signs of Paul when I spotted him!  He tried to get in with that mirrored log in that he had created a long time ago, according to the company that protects my website.  I kept blocking his efforts by blocking his IP address that he kept rerouting, although that didn’t slow him down.  Then Gordon and I both noticed that these ‘log in’ pop ups kept informing us that our session had expired.  That NEVER happens to me, even when I am in here working for hours.  That was Paul trying to make me believe that my session had expired so that I would then retype my log in info so that he would have it and not have to go through all the trouble of hacking in. 

I know it is hard work, isn’t it?

Um, Paul, I do have a question for you?  How does it feel to be bested by a 55 year year old, non-techie, housewife??

Can I get you a tissue??

Oh, and p.s.  Isn’t it illegal for someone to take money to create a website for someone, in our case the, BarefootByTheBeach.com domain, and then sabotage it for so many years so that it wouldn’t work?  Can someone go to jail for that?? 

Just curious….


May 3, 2016

The’ I Love You’ Login

I have written about the ‘I Love You Login’ a few times but I wanted to explain this a bit more.  It was when our website security company informed us that Paul had created a mirrored login to our website.  The login name was ‘I Love You’.  When my security company told me this I was very upset about it.  Paul had gone to a lot of trouble of creating an identical IP address to ours in order to infiltrate our website.  It is a very sophisticated system.  They also had informed me of what a sophisticated hacker that he was and that they had never seen anything like this in their years of doing this.  He had made it so that If I block him from my website, I block us as well! 

It is now a running joke in our family of just which one of us that Paul is in love with?  Am I the object of his desires?  Or does he view me as competition in order to seek the love of his REAL ambition, Gordon?  Stay tuned……Although neither one of us really wants to know the answer to that without vomiting. 

An Additional Note On Email:

Remember when I told you that having access to your email gives anyone all the information they need to know about you?  Do you also remember when I referenced doctor appointments?  Those reminders come into your email.  They know where you are, what time your appointment is, and with which doctor.  Well I wanted to share with you what I have experienced in the past year and a half and I am starting to wonder if Paul had something to do with it?  I do not know for sure, but it is odd and I need to record it. 

If you are like me then you call your dentist, or doctor, or whomever to schedule an appointment.  I am 55 and although I don’t have any major health issues, I do have regular maintenance.  So doctor appointments are a regular with people my age and older.  Well in the past year and a half when I have shown up for about 5 of these medical appointments, they have been mysteriously cancelled.  Why?  I went to my gynecologist appointment one day about a year and a half ago, only to discover that my appointment that I had made was non-existent.  I showed up, I was told that I didn’t have an appointment, I informed the girl that I had written it down on my calendar, I had the appointment card in my hand, why was I cancelled?  I had received my reminder notice in my email?  I was informed that they believe that whomever scheduled the appointment must not have saved the info into the computer.  I wasn’t upset about it.  My schedule is very flexible.  So I just made another appointment and left, it was no big deal.  I just thought that was strange though. 

About a few months later I showed up to my dermatologist appointment, I was told that I didn’t have one.  I produced the card that I was given at my last appointment where my next appointment was noted.  I was informed by the women behind the counter that my info must not have been saved into the computer and therefor they had no record of it.  O.K.  then let’s just schedule another appointment and I will come back.  Again, I was confused, I had been sent a confirmation email.  I was not angry.  I don’t get upset about the little things in life.  I pick my battles.  But again, I’m starting to look at these employees as being really incompetent.  I mean, how hard is it to schedule an appointment??

Next, I showed up at my family practitioner’s for that appointment.  I was informed that I didn’t have an appointment.  I always carry with me the appointment cards every time they give them to me.  So I produced it, showed it to the woman behind the counter.  I told her that I did have an appointment.  I had received my email reminder of this appointment.  I DO have an appointment!  Only to be told that it wasn’t in the system and that they didn’t know why?  No big deal, I just went ahead and made another appointment there.  But I couldn’t help but wonder, what the hell was going on?

Then in December of last year I showed up to my dermatologist appointment right before Christmas.  I signed in and sat down in the waiting room.  I was then called to the window and the woman asked me why I was there?  I told her that I had an appointment.  She then informed me that I had cancelled that appointment.  By this time I am starting to realize that SOMETHING was going on!  So I asked her to explain to me exactly HOW I had cancelled the appointment?  Did I call and cancel?  Email?  How?  They said that they didn’t know, that it was just in the computer that I had cancelled.

Huh?  Do these things happen to other people?  5 times in a 16 month period??  Anyone?? 

This is what I go through.  This is what I go through all the time.  Is it Paul? 


More to come……

Keep A Log

The best weapon that you can have against whomever may be bullying, harassing, or stalking you, is to keep a log, a journal, a blog, whatever you want to call it. 

Write down EVERYTHING! 

Make sure you always note the date, day, time, then give all the details that you can.  Don’t just rely on your memory.  And don’t just rely on your computer to store this information for you.  If you do then save it onto a thumb drive, or a hard drive, and definitely print out a copy for you so that you have something in your hand to turn over to whomever when the time comes.  Actually have a few copies.  For me this is ongoing as my stalking is still happening.  When Paul first started sending me his harassing emails calling me things like “Evil librul baby killer”, I started saving those emails on the computer he gave us.  Stupid, I know.  I knew that he had access to my email and online accounts, but it never occurred to me that he had total control over our computer as well.  When he found the “Paul File” that I had stored in the computer, that is when he struck hard, deleted all those files AND all of our personal photos just for fun, I’m sure.  He would call me all sorts of names like that.  Although I don’t recall ever killing any babies, I do have a more liberal view of life than he does.  But then again his ilk view birth control  as murder. 

The Pro Life Group

If anyone in the world is pro-life it’s me!  It’s me, because I am anti-war, anti-death penalty, and anti-gun.  But this pro-life movement wants all these babies to be born, yet doesn’t have a problem killing perfectly healthy adults with their wars of choice, their death penalty laws, and not to mention their legal right to murder people with their ‘Stand your Ground’ laws.  Pro-life?  Really?

So I suppose that I can throw back at Paul when he calls me an “Evil librul baby killer.”  I can call him an “Evil conservative adult killer.” 

I really don’t want to get to much into this but I did want to point out that America is on the same level as Saudi Arabia when it comes to the death penalty.  A third world country.  Just sayin……


But Back to Logging…..

Something that I would wake up to every single morning when we were living in Maryland with the “fabulous” computer that Paul gave us, was anywhere from 300 to 500 pop up’s.  When I would turn the computer on there in front of me were pop up’s that I would have to delete before I could even access the internet.  I would count them as I would click away.  Some day’s I was lucky and I only had about 150 to delete before I could get online.  I considered that a good day.  By this time my opinion of computers was that they were more trouble than they were worth.  After all when we got our first computer it never worked right either.  (Of course we found out later that it was probably Paul screwing with that one as well because he had sent Gordon that “game” Scorched Earth that had that virus in it that we weren’t aware of at the time.  Paul probably had control over that one as well.

Another thing that I had to deal with every morning was the massive amount of email that I had in my Hotmail account.  It was packed full of junk email every single day.  I would have to delete the hundreds of Spam to make room for my real emails to come through.  Paul was flooding that email account everyday with so much junk that I finally just abandoned it as I just couldn’t keep up with all the constant deleting.  I talked to other people that I knew that had Hotmail accounts and they bragged about how much they liked it.  They never had the problems that I had.  But then again, they weren’t being stalked. 

When you start writing your blog about all that you are going through, don’t be brave, don’t be embarrassed to express your feelings of everything that you are going through.  Expose your feelings, because you are the only one that has any.  The person/persons that are harming you are the evil ones.  They are the sick ones.  You know, happy people don’t go around harming others.  But unhappy and miserable people do.  The fact that they target you, or anyone for that matter, is the only way that they can feel better about themselves.  Even though you may be the target of the bully, that doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you. 

When you write your log make sure that you include things that you may not fully understand as being significant at the time, but later on it may fit into the puzzle.  For example, when I talk about my mysterious “cancelled” medical appointments in my post above.  I wasn’t connecting those to Paul at the time, but now I do wonder? 

The reason that a log is so important is because it is a detailed account of everything that you have been through.  When you turn over that detailed log as evidence is it extremely powerful.  This blog is an example of that.  You are reading the details of what I go through all the time, and you don’t even know all of it yet!  Just telling someone that you have a stalker, or a bully that is after you, just isn’t enough.  And quite frankly I’m getting tired of all the bully’s winning.  I’m tired of reading about 14 year old girls that hang themselves because they cannot take anymore bullying at school or on social media from other children and even adults.  If I could ever start a charity it would be on anti-bullying education.  Yes, I would like that very much. 


May 6, 2016

Beanie Babies

shady beanie babies_small

A strange headline for a stalking post, huh?

I wanted to add something that Paul had done for us in order to be

fair.  Paul used to have a Beanie Baby website in the late 90’s and early 2000’s where

he would sell the collectibles.  He had it at the height of popularity,

but when things slacked off with the public and they were no longer in demand as they once were, he offered to send some to

our children, Veronica and Brodie, and I myself got a few.  This was

when we thought Paul was our friend.  I just wanted to point out that he

did do something nice for all of us, but then again, he also gave us

that computer in order to spy on us.  Sometimes people do something

“good” in order to disguise their real intentions.  Jared from the

Subway franchise does come to mind, he had a charity.  So does Lance Armstrong.  They both

had charities.  Sometimes I believe people do things that are perceived as being “good” in

order to disguise their true intentions.

NOTE:  Paul always has all sorts of side business’s.


In the Pursuit of Happiness

Some people that are becoming aware of the fact that I have a stalker are asking me how I put up with it?  They tell me that it would drive them crazy!  My answer is that I focus on the good every day. 

The reason that we tend to remember all the bad stuff with great clarity, and sometimes tend to forget about the good stuff, is because all the bad things are connected to adrenaline.  So I have learned to give more attention and focus to those good things in life and try not to dwell on the bad.  Oh, the bad is there!  But I have learned to tune it out much better than I used to.  Treat it more like white noise.  It’s there but you just don’t focus on it as much as before.   

You know, Gordon and I have the better life than Paul.  We have a nice home in Florida whereas Paul dwells in a lair in Charlotte.  We have conversations with live people whereas the only ones he has are with characters online with names like Troll Seeker, Goliath Hunter, and Spirit Warrior. 

Paul is a Troll


We do believe that Paul does to other people what he does to me/us, but we do think that he spends a great deal of time on me because I’m a favorite target of his.  Although given the amount of time that he does spend on me it’s really hard to see that he has time for anyone else. 

Although having a stalker is terrible, another thing that gets me through is looking at others that have to go through those extra hardships and burdens in life every day.  For example, the African American.  How do black men/boys get through life knowing that they will be pulled over simply because they are ‘driving while black’?  Or arrested for ‘walking down the street while black’?  Or shot dead just because they are wearing a hoodie?

Now, I am not criticizing most police officers.  I respect the police department and we do need them as a society in order to offer us protection!

(I myself even tried out for the police department in Georgia back in 1983.  Out of 250 applicants I got down to the top 20 but I didn’t make the cut.  They were hiring 11 people, nine men and two women.  I was so disappointed at the time but upon reflection I think it was a blessing in disguise.  My dream job was to be a detective but first you have to be an officer for a few years before you can be qualified.)

But the FBI warned our government a few years ago saying that the KKK would try to infiltrate the police department.  I think we can see that without my pointing it out to any of you.

My son Brodie’s best friend is an African-American,  Justin is followed by the police all the time.  An example is that Justin was once followed down the road by a police officer, who then kept stalking him as he pulled into the parking lot at a Target store.  I don’t have those things to worry about being a white woman.  How does Justin, who is almost 8 feet tall, put up with that?  How do any African-Americans put up with the stalking that they go through on a daily basis? 

So when I have Paul stalking/sabotaging me online, I think of them.  And I handle it the same way they do. 

NOTE: The History of the “Your Mamma” Insults in the Black Community

(Not that I am at all qualified to speak for the African-American community.)

But what I was talking about above reminded me of this.  I’m sure you’ve all heard the “Your Mama” jokes/insults before?  You know, things like this, “Your Mamma is so ugly that I use her face to mop the floor with?”

The history there is that during the slave days in the American south, the slave owner’s would love to insult their slaves just so that they would have a reason to beat them.  So at night the African Americans would insult each other to toughen each other up in order to avoid the beatings that would come when/if they reacted to whatever insults they would have to endure the following day. 

Although I don’t like the fact that I live life with a constant stalker/saboteur, I also am luckier than most with the life I’ve had so I focus on that. 

We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. 

Look at all the crap that President Obama has had to put up with since he became President?  Granted, he has help from people that protect him and his family, watch over his interests online, but if you remember the Obamacare website was constantly being hacked so that people couldn’t sign up for healthcare, and just to make him look bad?  I mean how cruel is that? 

There are people out there that have life so much worse than me, so much harder, so I recognize that even though I have a sick stalker, my life is still pretty good.


Paul is a Joke

Gordon and I have a pretty good since of humor and we laugh a lot.  Paul is something of a joke to us, he is laughable.  We laugh AT him!  There is humor everywhere, you just need to know where to look. 


For example, we bought a new dishwasher last November, our old one crapped out on us.  Of course it was the original one to our house so it was time for it to go.  But when it quit working I believe I said something like, “Well look, now Paul is going after our appliances.”  We both burst out laughing.  (I guess you had to be there.)  But you need to learn to laugh about the bad and unpleasant things in life. 

our new dishwasher_small

(Our new dishwasher that is too quiet.  It’s almost annoyingly quiet.)

Otherwise we would be crying all the time and there would be no ‘Pursuit of Happiness’, now would there?


More to come….

May 7, 2016

Cell Phones

one of these things_small

One of These Things Just Doesn’t Belong Here

Remember that game from Sesame Street?   Where your shown a series of items and you decide which one doesn’t belong there?

Your probably wondering what in the world this has to do with Paul?  Well I’ll tell you.

A few months ago I wrote a blog post on how much I hate texting and that I had about 200 texts that I had never even looked at.  I also mentioned that I am hoping that there is some mailbox that will fill up so that those annoying texts sounds no longer come. 

About a week after I wrote that I looked at my cell phone to make a call and instead of it reading 204 unread texts, it read 73 unread texts.  What happened to all those other texts?  How did they disappear?  Who deleted them?  

I’m not a big cell phone user which is why my phone is so ancient.  But it fits my lifestyle.  It is an old Navy Seal phone that is waterproof, and shatter proof, and sand proof, and sunscreen proof, well, you get the message.

I’ve known for years that Paul could probably access my cell phone, which is why I have always kept it wrapped in a towel when it is in the room with me.  I mean, if he is going to go so far as to stalk me online, then what is to stop him from stalking me via cell phone?

Cindy is always with me_small beachy scarf_small

All a hacker needs is your cell phone number in order to hack into your cell phone, and they can listen to your conversations, record your conversations, look through your phone for other numbers, photos, etc.  They can also stalk your location as to where you are at any given time, via GPS.  If your home, if you are away?  If you are at a doctor appointment and your phone is in your purse and it is turned on, he can listen to the conversations of you and your doctor. 

So getting back to our game.

wrapped in a towel_small how I carry my cell_small

So which thing doesn’t belong here?

And don’t say the Cinderella Pez, or the deck of playing cards, or the flips flops and back-up flip flops, (hey, you never know).

My cell phone wrapped in a towel so that Paul cannot listen to my conversations when I am off the phone.  There is nothing however, that I can do about what he hears while I am on the phone. 

If I remove the battery he can’t track my location.

This is what it is like to be stalked!

our wrapped cell phones_small our cell phones_small

Julie and Gordon’s Cell Phones

Oh, and a word of advice from me.  Think before you have your cell phone on in your bedroom. 

You and your partner might not be the only one’s in there. 


More to come…..


May 9, 2016

cell phone hacking_small

Just Change Your Cell Phone Number

I hear that a lot when talking to people about what I go through with being stalked by cell phone as well as computer.  Just change your cell phone number. 

If it really were just that simple?

Here is why it ISN’T that simple. 

In my phone are the names and telephone numbers of my family and a few friends.  A hacker has all that info as well.  So let’s say that I decide to change my cell number so that Paul can’t track me, or spy on me, or eavesdrop on all my conversations whether I am talking on the phone, or not.  All Paul would have to do is to then check Gordon’s cell phone number, which he knows because it’s in my cell phone, in order to find my new current cell phone number.  Let’s say that Gordon then changes HIS cell number so that Paul can’t get mine from his now NEW cell phone number.  All he then has to do is to look at our daughter, Veronica’s cell phone number, which is in both mine and Gordon’s phones, in order to get her number to then track me/us.  Let’s say that we get her to change her cell phone number to a new one?  All Paul would have to do is to access her boyfriend, Brain’s,  cell number in order to get Veronica’s cell number, to then find either mine or Gordon’s in her list of contacts.  Or all he would have to do is to check the contacts in her cell phone, in order to find her new cell number from one of them, then once he has her new number then he can find my new number.  Get it?  This could be hundreds of people.  Brain’s family alone are all Puerto Rican/Irish Catholics, so you know there are a few hundred right there that have Brian and Veronica’s contact info. 

Now that’s just hundreds of people through my daughter’s connections.  Now throw in my son, Brodie’s list of cell contacts, and we’ve got about 200 more people. 

He literally has a treasure trove of ways to find our new cell phone numbers, he just has to keep going down the list of people, until he finds one that has us listed in their contact info. 

The only way that we could shut him out totally would be if we all went out and got our numbers changed at the same time, and we didn’t use the cell phones to call or text anyone until everyone has gotten their new numbers.  So how do you coordinate a good 200- 400 people into doing that at the same time?  Or how do you even ask people to do that for you?  Is there a fee that they would have to pay in order to do it?  Probably.  Can I ask people to pay that fee just so I can” maybe” have some privacy?  Most of these 200-400 people, I don’t even know so just how do I ask them to do it?  And even would they?  Let’s say I pay for everyone to do it?  200- 400 people x how much money to change their numbers?  I don’t have that kind of money! 

Let’s say that I ask everyone that I know to delete my contact info out of their phones, then I get my new cell number, then I just ask them not to add me to their call list on their cell phones?  All Paul would have to do is look at the list of missed or received calls in order to find one that is mine in my close relations contact info.  So you may be thinking that surely he won’t waste all that time on tracking you down, Julie?

Well, I’ve got news for you!  THAT’S WHAT STALKERS DO!!!

Let’s say that I am able to elude him and he can’t find me on anyone’s cell phones because they themselves have been able to change their numbers successfully.  All he would then have to do is to locate the employment business of someone that knows me, or knows of me, access that computer at their job for their contact info of let’s say, my son or daughter, then once he has their new cell numbers that he lifted from that computer at their place of business, then he can find me.  So how would he access the computer’s at their jobs?  Oh, I don’t know?  How did 5 of my past doctor appointments within a 16 month period get cancelled out of the computer systems of 3 of my medical facilities that I visit?  How does someone that writes programs for banks do it??  (Isn’t that kind of our answer?)

Oh, and how would he even know where someone I’m associated with would work?  Perhaps in the emails that he reads in my account all the time when someone writes to give me their news?  Perhaps an overheard cell phone conversation where my daughter tells me all about work?  

A Stalker is just That, a Stalker

They have nothing else better to do in life but stalk you.  You are who they think of when they wake up in the morning, and you are who they think of when they go to bed at night.  Reading your email or monitoring your cell phone is more important to them than going to a movie, or the beach, or a vacation, or living a nice happy life. 

You know a crazy person can stand there and argue with you all day on a street corner, but a sane person has better things to do.  Paul has nothing better to do!

The fact that Paul stalks me isn’t about me, it’s about him!  He is the one with the problem.  He is the one with the sick fixation.  We have not spoken to him in about 10 years.  We have made no effort to get in touch with him.  A few years ago we had it with all the website and computer hacking/sabotage so Gordon decided to call Paul’s  mother.  After all, Gordon did know Paul’s family.  They were best friends growing up together in Charlotte and he knew the _ _ _ _  family very well.  So he reached out to Paul’s mother.  And her grand advice?  “Just get a new computer.”  She didn’t sound the least bit surprised to hear that her son was stalking his former best-friend’s wife.  She also didn’t even seem to care.  She was never alarmed or upset over what her son was doing.  The phone call was a total waste of time.  I guess I see where Paul gets his dysfunction from.

About 1 day later ‘Hell wreaked havoc on our computer!’  When Gordon came home that night I recounted the day of computer hell that Paul put me through.  I told him that OBVIOUSLY Paul’s mother had told Paul about the conversation that Gordon had with her and was he ever pissed! 

He took it all out on our 3 computers!!

He had locked me out of everything on our main computer.  Meaning, all of my online accounts.  I couldn’t even check my email, he had me locked out of it!  I then got the idea to get on Veronica’s laptop to see if I could check in with my accounts and I was able to get into a few of them until all of a sudden, LOCKED OUT!  I then got on Brodie’s laptop and I was able to get into my email and quickly send one off before he locked me out of it as well.  Paul had literally chased me from one computer, to a laptop, to another laptop.  He had me locked out of my email account for a week!  I tried calling my email provider only to be given their standard answer for everything that they don’t understand, “It’s just maintenance.”  I heard that for a week.  Finally I asked why “maintenance” takes an entire week?  That’s when the woman on the other line exclaimed in surprise, “A WEEK?” 

I think that when you call these business’s for help if they don’t understand the problem they have this list of things to say to the customers to appease us.  (Maintenance problems, a power outage at one of our facilities, internet upgrades……..)

That night after being locked out of every single one of our computers I had gotten so upset that I had actually torn our house phone in two pieces.  With my bare hands!  Yes, I actually bent our house phone and broke it in two pieces.  When Gordon came home from work that night he saw the damage on the floor, he gave me a big hug.  And then ran out and bought a new phone.  I tell you this because this was a low time for me.  But now it’s a joke in our family.  One day Gordon and I were having a “disagreement” and I had the phone in my hand because I was going to make a call.  Gordon then made me laugh and said, “Julie, put the phone down.  Come on now, just put the phone down.  It’s not worth it.  Now kick it over to me.  Come on, you can do it.”  🙂

Who can be mad at someone when they are making you laugh? 

Paul went after me for a good 2- 2 1/2 weeks over that one.  Locked out of my accounts, I had to call someone in to come over to our house and look at all of our computers and get us back in them again.  When Paul becomes enraged at something that I have either written in an email, or a blog post, or the fact that I like Susan Sarandon, he will attack a good 2 – 2 1/2 weeks before he gets it out of his system.  Then he backs off for awhile and does whatever he does.  Perhaps targets others?  Or gets back to gaming?  Whatever he does when he backs off, but he still monitors away my email, website, etc.  Then strikes again, probably because I donated some money to Obama.  Yes, that did happen. It enraged him so much that I gave money to Obama.  The receipt came in my email.   Right after he saw that receipt! 

Again, it takes him a good 2 – 2 1/2 weeks to get it out of his system before he backs off again.  He is very predictable.  He has his triggers.  It is interesting that he goes straight to RAGE!

ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK!!  There is no build up.  He goes straight for the jugular and doesn’t back off for about 14 days or so. Only then will he settle down and give me a break from all the sabotage. 


Lousy Blog Format

Sand Globes

A few years ago someone had posted my “sand globe” craft project idea on Pintrest, and the reason I know this is because it showed up in my website stats as an external link.  I was very happy that someone cared enough about a project that I had done to post it in their account on Pintrest.  So I looked at it and she wrote something to the effect that the project was cute but that I had a “lousy blog format”. 

A lousy blog format.  I had been so focused on my projects and updating the website all the time that I failed to noticed just how distorted that our website had become.  Every page of our website was distorted.  It was from years of Paul sabotaging it.  I felt so bad by that comment that it prompted Gordon and I to redo our website and update it to what it is now.  We started this new website last summer but we are still transferring things over to this new site. That comment by that unknown woman is how people view our website.  I felt bad because I wanted to tell her that, “It’s not my fault.  I try so hard to have a nice website but I have this cyber- stalker that is always ruining everything that I do.” 

Well, he has started it again.  Just look at my Blogging With Julie Continues.  Scroll down to the Mother’s Day grill section and you will see this horizontal line that I cannot erase from my blog.  Also if you look to the right, the blue column is cut into from the ‘Argentinian shrimp to nearly the bottom of that blog post.  He’s doing it again.  He won’t just let me have a nice website.  He has to destroy it.  He has to distort it.  He has to ruin it. 

You know, Gordon and I aren’t vindictive people.  We just want to live our lives in peace.  Paul is this cancer that we just can’t get rid of.  But it’s a cancer that we shouldn’t even have.  If he would just leave us alone then I would delete this blog post forever and we all just go our separate ways.  But he never will.  This I do know, karma catches up to us all.  Whether it be law enforcement that brings Paul down, or life in general.  It will happen.  This I do know.



More to come…..

Google, Youtube, Etc…..


May 19, 2016

Google Logo_small

One thing that we have discovered that Paul does to us is to follow what
we Google. It is possible to find out what people that you are
interested in are looking at in Google.

I don’t know how to do it because I simply don’t
care, but Paul knows how.

So whatever I Google he knows about it. My ‘Google cache’ shows up in my website stats as in someone is following me. Duh!

He can also tell how long I stayed on that particular page that I Googled,
also whatever action that I took there. As in some sort of comment that
I may have made at that site, etc.

Let’s say that I wanted to look for
lawyers that specialized in internet crimes? I would Google that and
then a list of lawyers would pop up. Let’s say that I Googled Internet
Detectives, then a list of Internet Detectives would show up and he
could even tell which ones I clicked on and were interested in. He would know which ones that I contacted and that gives him a heads up on what we are up to.

BTW: The cost of hiring an internet detective is between $2,000.00 – $10,000.00. But expect to pay closer to the $10,000.00 range. Just sayin.

You know sometimes we may want to Google a medical concern that we have?  But for us it isn’t private.  My stalker knows what anyone that uses our computers, Google.

When you have a cyber-stalker you have no privacy.


The Huffington Post logo_small

Many years ago I opened an account on The Huffington Post and I did make a few comments. Turns out that Paul didn’t like that so he disabled my ability to comment anymore.
Whenever I would sign in and try, it would just buffer and buffer forever, not allowing me to comment. Then when I was out at the condo when my brother Ben was living out there,
I could comment with ease on his computer. I was Konamakai, by the way.

It was also the same on other websites that I would visit. He disabled my ability to comment on anything.

He literally took away my Freedom of Speech!

As I’ve said before, people like him only believe in ‘Freedom of Speech’ when it applies to themselves.


Youtube logo_small

If you read our website then you know that we have some Youtube video’s that we have made ourselves of either Gordon building his retaining walls on our property,
or my condo tour videos for interested renters in our family beach condo, or even one of our trip to Egmont Key at Fort DeSoto Beach Park.

Egmont Key


This video is our most popular and it does get a lot of hits on Youtube. The island is sinking.
There is even a movement underway to try and save it.
The reason I am pointing it out to you is because of the hits that we do get from it, that opens the video up to advertising that could lead to a little bit of money coming our way.
However, when I do go into my Youtube account settings, the button is always “disabled” that would allow for that to happen. We keep “enabling” it, and Paul keeps “disabling” it.

Also as I have mentioned before we have had some nice comments about our videos where people have written in and they show up in my Google email,
(that most of the time I rarely read.)
But when I have gone in there to look at it there were comments that were emailed back to a few people with some very snarky replies that neither myself or Gordon would ever say to people that were nice enough to write to us.

NOTE: The reason that I say that I rarely get into these accounts is because I am busy enough as it is what with just life in general, home life responsibilities,
my condo managerial responsibilities, pet ownership, our outdoor life, and our constant flow of projects. Not to mention all the work that we have done to our website.

We Live our Life Offline, We Just Post Our Lives Online



(Why would anyone care about him?  He spends his life stalking another man’s wife online.)

There are so many things that I want to do in life and sitting at a computer all day isn’t one of them. That’s what Paul does.
I really don’t feel like monitoring ‘this’ account and monitoring ‘that’ account to see what damage that Paul has done today.
We do good just to keep up with what we have going on.  The last thing I want to be is like him.

NOTE:  Paul subscribes to our Youtube channel and when we debut a new video he instantly knows about it and then gets into our account to mess with it.   He messes with the counters.  As in he keeps rolling back the number’s.  Constant CRIMINAL sabotage.

We have discovered that if we create our video’s on a program on our computer, and then debut them onto Youtube, then he can’t seem to mess with the counters.  At least so far.  But, if we create them in Youtube, then he can.


 More to Come……

May 20, 2016

I just transferred something over from my Blogging with Julie Continues, to my Herb Cocktail post and there you can plainly see the line and the distortion.  Yet another example of Paul’s CRIMINAL sabotage and tampering of our website.

Herb Cocktails



More to come…..

May 25, 2016

doctors symbol_small

Yesterday I had my appointment with my family practitioner and of course, the first thing they had me to fill out when I showed up to my appointment was to sign up via email, for their patient portal.  I looked at it and I knew that I didn’t want to.  It will just be another account that Paul will get into and have access to.  So I told the woman at the window that I would think about it.  I know she looked at me very strange as if she were thinking, ‘What is there to think about?’ 

When I talked to Margaret, my nurse practitioner, I decided to confide in her about what I go through all the time and that I didn’t want to sign up for something that my stalker will just access to get to me.  She was very nice and understanding.  I love her accent, she is originally from Haiti and we always have the nicest conversations when I see her.  When I recounted my story and I told her about the ‘I Love You’ log in, I jokingly told her that neither Gordon or myself know which one of us he is in love with? 

She then adamantly told me that it was me.  She also told me that he wants to possess me, and that is why he is so obsessed with me that he stalks me. 

I’ve thought about that ever since.  He wants to possess me.  Like a possession that he owns.  That bothers me.  Being owned by someone?  How horrible!  Even though Margaret is not a psychologist or psychiatric, she is in the medical field and her opinion meant something to me.  She also understood that I only want to receive any info via phone call and not through any internet connection.  It’s for my privacy.  As far as I know, Paul cannot access our home phone info.  It really is awful being stalked.  You don’t ever have any privacy.  While everyone out there is trying to get us all online, I am doing my best to stay off line. 

Beautiful Day_small

Margaret did pay me the nicest compliment yesterday.  She told me that I didn’t look 55 and asked me if I had had work done?  It made me feel good, but no, I have never had any work done.  I don’t have that kind of money.  I feel 35, therefore I act 35.  I have my health problems but they don’t affect how I feel.  Being a borderline diabetic, I control my health issues with diet and exercise.   There is so much sugar out there that sometimes I feel as if I am walking through a minefield in order to avoid it. 

I also contribute my lack of 55 year old wrinkles ,to the fact that I always had something on my face.  I remember being laughed at by other girls when I was growing up, that I always had make -up on at the beach.  Or at the pool.  Or at the lake.  But, it was something on my face that prohibited the sun from penetrating.  I was also laughed at for always having my “fake tan”.  But you know what?  That was a barrier on my skin, from the sun as well.  So exactly who is laughing now?  I feel good when people are shocked by my age.  I consider that I great compliment. 


We Will Never Go Paperless

As for the inernet, I don’t think it wise for anyone to go paperless in this day of computer hacking.  I do like the idea of not cutting down trees in order to save through conservation.  But there is no security in our computer system now-a-days.  What if some “pulse” wiped out your accounts online, which could happen.  How can you then prove to the bank that you only owe $20,000.00 when they say you owe $80,000.00?  How can you prove that when you have nothing written down?  No official statement from the bank?  Just your word?  When your accounts have been “altered” by an unknown source?  How? 

What about credit cards?  What is there to say that you owe $16,000.00 on your Capital One when you only owed $300.00?  Can you prove that you only owe $300.00?  Do you have a bank authorized statement declaring that?  Or is it just your word from your ‘viewing’ your account online?  Can you really prove it?  And will they except your explanation?  When do corporations ever take our word? 

We Will Never Go Paperless!

I don’t trust anyone out there to accurately recount exactly what we owe. 

You know Paul writes programs for banks?  Who is to say that he wouldn’t do something to our accounts?  I cannot trust him, I cannot trust anyone in this day and age of paperless.  Neither should you.  I do realize that I am unique in this day and age of hackers.  We do have someone very sophisticated after us, most people don’t.  So I am trying to do my best to protect myself and my family from this hacker. 

Without a doubt Paul will always know more than I do where the computer is concerned.  He will always be there to “best” us.  But that doesn’t mean that I just lie down and take it.  I fight, and I fight and I will always fight.  That’s my DNA.  I am a survivor.  Paul will one day find himself behind bars.  I don’t know if I will be the person that puts him there.  But someone will.

More to Come…….

May 26, 2016

One Web Hosting, GreenGeeks, and Sitelock

One Web Hosting 2_small

GreenGeeks logo_small Sitelock badge_small

When I acquired my website in May of 2011, I started out with One Web Hosting.  I paid them a monthly fee to host my website and they were very helpful with helping me to set up my new website, and when I had a problem they were always very polite and nice and helpful.  I know that I keep saying the word, helpful.  Well, they were, in the beginning.  But as things started to happen to my website, I would inform them of the “problems”.  I knew that it was Paul.  I tried to explain to them that we do have a hacker after us that we believe does sabotage our website.  I think that they eventually came to look at me as being some ‘paranoid woman in Florida that thinks everyone is after her.’  In 2013 I had it with all the sabotage and I decided to hire some help in protecting my website, seeing as how One Web Hosting wasn’t interested in doing so.  One day my home page was so distorted and ruined that One Web Hosting got tired of repairing it, so they told me they no longer had the time to deal with me.  That is when I left them.  They refused to close portals to my website because they didn’t believe that my website was important enough to go that far to protect.  I mean, who cares about some woman barefoot in Florida?  Right? 

 So I left them and went with another web hosting company (GreenGeeks) that works with my protection company that I hired, SITELOCK!  There I said it!  SITELOCK!  You see, Sitelock doesn’t want anyone to know that they “protect” my website.  Because they CAN’T!!  So you will never see the “Sitelock Protected” badge on my website because they will never allow it.  When I first signed up with them in July/August of 2013 they wanted me to proudly display their ‘badge’, and give them free advertising.   I was going to, but they kept emailing me demanding that I remove it.  The reason?  Because Paul was hacking my site so badly that they couldn’t protect it so they didn’t want anyone to know that they were the ones in charge of my website security.  I finally told Dianne, “Why would I want to display the Sitelock badge if you keep telling me to remove it every week?” 

Finally, just last month I decided to finally display their badge as a way of saying thank you for their help in protecting my website.  Well, guess what?  They don’t want me to!!  They don’t want anyone to know that they protect my website because they CAN’T protect my website!!  Oh, they will gladly take my money every month, but they don’t want anyone to know about it.  I did write them about that a few weeks ago.  I told them that it was very dishonest on their part. 

Most of the techs that I deal with at Sitelock are in their 20’s and 30’s.  Paul is 53 and has been doing what he does for over 30 years.  As I told Sitelock, I think that Paul _ _ _ _ knows more than all of you do!

Finally, after 3 years of my paying Sitelock to protect my website, they found Paul.  It took them 3 years!!  Now that they are aware of him, I am getting my Premium Website Security that I pay for. 

I was also told by a tech at Sitelock that they had never seen anything like this before.  These hacks are very “personal”.  They say that he sits there for hours trying to break in.  Most hackers just move on when they can’t get in, but Paul will stay there for hours, days, to get in.  And he always does eventually.  Because he never stops. 

Most of you will never have to deal with what I go through every single day. 

I envy you!


More to Come……..


June 9, 2016

Remembering Theresa Saldana

Theresa Saldana Dies

Theresa Saldana_small

August 20, 1954 – June 6, 2016

Actress Theresa Saldana has died. She was 61.  She starred in Raging Bull with Robert De Niro in 1980.  She was also known for her role in the t.v. series, The Commish, where she played Rachel Scali alongside Michael Chiklis.  But to me, what I know her the most from was the fact that she survived a horrible stabbing attack in 1982 from a man who had been stalking her.  He was a religious fanatic who claimed to be ordered by a “higher power” to kill her.  She was saved by a bottled water delivery man that was driving by.  The attack was happening on her front lawn.  Thanks to the quick thinking and bravery of the delivery man, Saldana survived. The man subdued the lunatic and summoned aid for Saldana.


Saldana became a devoted victims’ advocate, founding the Victims for Victims organization that fought for the establishment of anti-stalking laws and playing herself in the 1984 TV movie Victims for Victims: The Theresa Saldana Story, directed by Karen Arthur. Her memoir, Beyond Survival, was published in 1987.

(As taken from the article link above.)


I remember reading about this in 1982 and thinking to myself, what a horrible thing to have to go through?  Her attack was actually my first introduction to stalkers and how dangerous that they can be.  I could not imagine having to go through something so terrible.  Her recovery lasted a very long time. She had to forgo her role in Tootsie to Geena Davis because of her attack.  I can see her in that part.  Although I love Geena, I do think it sad that she missed out on playing the part.

When I am out and about running my errands or just going through life out in public, I do pay close attention to what is going on around me.  You see, I don't know what Paul is capable of?  We haven't known him in 10 years, we don't know how much darker that he has become.  There is obviously no indication that he has gotten better, so therefor we must assume that he has gotten worse.  When we knew him he would go to the midnight movies alone.  Now he probably doesn't even do that.  That was about as social as he would get. 

Gordon and I were going through our wedding photos the other day, even scanning some of them onto our computers, when we came across this photo of us, getting pummeled with bird seed as we are leaving our reception.  You can see Paul there in the photo to the far right, holding his jacket.  When I saw that photo I just got chills.  Here it is.

Julie and Gordon wedding slider_small

June 22, 1985

Mr. and Mrs. Gordon S. Whann

I'm posting this photo because this represents what I go through all the time.  Gordon and I have our life together, but there is Paul always lurking in the background stalking me.  This photo is so representative of us.  I've learned to live like this now for 2 decades.  I've learned to tune him out and focus on us and our lives together.  I even posted it as a slider photo on our homepage.  I even went so far as to post some of our wedding photos that I haven't ever posted before. 

(So watch for my website to crash soon!)

Paul has his triggers, and I just pulled it. 

But you know what?  These are our wedding photos and if I want to post them then I can.   When he installed all that malware on my site two months ago, it was my last straw.  I have put up with his sabotage and stalking for too long.  I will continue to talk about him until he leaves us alone forever.

Theresa fought back against her religious extremist and so will I!

More to Come....



Julie loves to take pictures_small

I haven't written in awhile for a number of reasons.  I've been busy doing other things and I just haven't wanted to write about Paul Keith Gray.  But I'm writing about him now because I need to.  There have been many things going on and I need to write about them.  First of all when I started writing about Paul on my Blogging with Julie Continues, at the end of April, and by debuting this blog post, What It's Like to be Cyber-Stalked, shortly after, that has invited Paul to attack me more frequently.  I knew that would happen, but I'm attacked whether I write about him or not, so why not expose the cad?  I think there just comes a time when you get tired of being abused, bullied, sabotaged, and stalked.  I think I finally came to the end of my rope and no matter what happens, I know that I need to do this.  I'm sure that prior to my exposing him that he probably cyber-stalked several people.  But I'm pretty sure that I have drawn most of his attention since, therefor all those "others" owe me a debt of thanks for giving them a much needed break.  I wish someone would take him off my hands for awhile and give me a much needed break as well.  

The cyber-stalking doesn't stop even when I threaten to expose him.  Even when I started revealing his middle name, and threatening to reveal his last name.  He still never let up.  Either he is so arrogant that he feels invincible to capture, or he is a very sick person that has no control over their own actions.  I'm betting that it is a little bit of both.  I don't think that Paul can help it.  For some reason I am the air he breathes and the water he needs to survive.  He will never leave me alone. 

You know, I have started viewing him differently now.   In the past I would view him as of course the crazy/obsessed person that he is, but I also recognized the skill and talent of a sophisticated hacker.  He is smart, he is intelligent, he can best them at GreenGeeks and Sitelock and he gets into my website with ease no matter what road blocks are put up.  Those are talents that are admirable. 

BUT, GreenGeeks always restores my website to what it was before he sabotaged it.  Sitelock always wipes away whatever malware he plants in it.  Which is why I ask myself, exactly what does he accomplish at the end of the day?  How many hours is spent on cyber-stalking and sabotage only to have everything put back in place like it should be at the end of the day?  After awhile you start to see the person as pathetic!  How pathetic of you to waste all the time on something only to have it fixed and restored?  What exactly do you accomplish?  Do you really have nothing else to do?  I don't think he does. 

How many men out there stalk 55 year old women??  🙂  As much as I do love myself, and that is a hell of a lot, even I see that as pathetic. 

Lately Paul has been in our old website.  I first noticed this in my GreenGeeks stats about a month ago.  The AW stats have top 10 entry and exit pages.  I noticed that the top 10 entry and exit pages were folders in our old website.  My Alfred Hitchcock folder, Gordon and Julie Food folder, Evil Under the Sun folder, etc.  I figured that Paul was in there messing with it so I informed Sitelock and they ran a scan and found malware everywhere.  Also, those old website pages that should not be viewed by the public, were suddenly being splashed all over Google.  Wonder how that happened?   Our nice new website is now harder to find.  Why?  Because we are being erased from Google by Paul. 

Used to when I would Google my name, Julie Lancaster-Whann, lots of photos from our website would appear in the images, and lots of our website pages would appear in the "All".  Now just a few do.  No home page, no Julie's blog, that kind of thing.  Sometimes very few photos appear, sometimes very few pages appear.  It's as if we are being erased from the web.  Our website has gone back to year 1 status.  We've gone from thousands to hundreds, to tens.  That's why for our 5 year website anniversary, July 6, I did nothing to recognize it.  Although it was a milestone, because of all the sabotage, there really wasn't anything to celebrate.  So I didn't. 

Hillary Clinton 2016 convention_small

Hillary Clinton 2016 Democratic National Convention, Pittsburg, Pennsylvania

I found my niche in life and I am going to keep on doing what I do whether anyone views it or not, but it is very sad to have some sick person working very hard to keep me hidden so that no one can find me online.  It's like having a cancer that I don't need to have.  There is a cure but you can't have it Julie.  There are no laws saying I have to give it to you, therefor I won't.  Paul hates me for the same reason republicans hate Hillary Clinton. 

She has a brain, she is smart, she has an opinion, and she stands up for herself.  Those are my only crimes.  I have done nothing wrong.  I just dared to see myself as equal to a white bigoted man. 

That's my crime.  Which says more about Paul than it does about me.  Look at all the republicans have done to Hillary and where is she now?  Making history as the first female Presidential nominee of a major party.   Right now she rocks!  So exactly what did the republican party accomplish by all the time they spent going after her?  I guess they had nothing else better to do. 


p.s.  I was in no way comparing myself to Hillary Clinton.  I was simply pointing out that Paul has the same mindset as those on the 'far right' that go after Hillary.

More to Come........


Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window

I am getting ready for Halloween so I thought I would feature some of our past Halloween's in the Slider and Current on our Home Page.  As I was debuting our 'Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window' I noticed that the link said, 'Beachy Living'.  What that means is that "someone" had to have gone into my Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window and specifically changed it to say, 'Beachy Living'.  When you  premier a post and type in the title, that title is the link name.  The only way it can be different is if someone purposely changed it.  Yet another example of the sabotage that I endure from Paul.

I did fix it by the way.  But how much more has he done to sabotage my website that I haven't found yet?

More to Come.......