I Am An Empath
There, I said it.
I Am An Empath.
I have decided to share that with you, seeing as how I pretty much share everything else.
I am writing this as a diary from top to bottom.
New blog posts will appear at the bottom of this page.
I’m glad you’re here.
So exactly what is an empath? Here is one definition:
A person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.
So are you clear now?
To me it’s much more complicated and complex than just a simple definition, so I thought that I would give you some examples so that you can see what I go through every single day.
One day as I was getting out of my car to do some grocery shopping at the commissary, all of a sudden the Monkee’s music is going off in my head. Remember them? From the 60’s? The Monkee’s? They were a musical group that had a t.v. show. They were Davy Jones, Peter Tork, Michael somebody and Mickie somebody. I LOVED them!
My signed autographed postcard from The Monkee’s in the 1960’s.
I had a huge crush on Davy Jones, he was my one and only true love, (along with Jack Wild, Bobby Sherman, and David Cassidy.)
Anyway, I had The Monkee’s music going off inside my head the entire time I was shopping. I didn’t mind it. It was like what elevator music is to most people, just in the background, not too distracting. It was really nice. I was enjoying hearing it, reliving the old Monkee’s music, thinking about how much I used to love that old t.v. show every Saturday morning. But I did keep wondering to myself, “Why am I thinking about The Monkee’s? And in particular, Davy Jones?” Then I got into my car to drive off, I had my radio station on NPR, as always, and that’s when I heard it, “Davy Jones has died.”
Ah, so THAT’S why I was hearing The Monkee’s music for the past hour and a half in my head.
To me, my interpretation, is that is when I am connected to the world. I was picking up on the world mourning Davy Jones and listening to the old Monkee’s music. It was so strong that it was in my head for hours.
Another example: Another time I was, once again, driving down the road when I kept hearing this in my head,
“Walter, I look awful in black.”
I kept hearing it over and over again. “Walter, I look awful in black.” I knew that it was a line from a movie that I had seen before but I just couldn’t place it. “Walter, I look awful in black”.
So as I went about my day, that sentence kept popping up in up in my head. Kind of like that thing that is on the ‘tip of your tongue’ that bothers you until you figure it out? Well, I never did. I went about my daily business, did my shopping, went home, unloaded the car, put things away, and then I did something that I rarely do, I laid down on the couch, and channel surfed up to the higher channels. O.K. so I do lay on the couch ALL THE TIME, but I don’t channel surf up to the higher channels. (Those are usually the dirty, forbidden channels…..)
So as I was doing that I came across a movie that I hadn’t seen in decades, Father Goose, starring Cary Grant and Leslie Caron. Oh, Father Goose!!
Father Goose, The Movie
Oh, I LOVE that movie! I haven’t seen that in so long, how cool is that? I am going to lay here and watch it. (I don’t think that I have ever watched a movie sitting up, unless I am at a movie theater. The only way I know how to watch a movie at home is to view it sideways as I am laying down.) Anyway, I think the movie was filmed in the early 60’s and I first saw it as a child and loved it because Cary Grant is funny and it had lots of little girls in it.
O.k. So Cary Grant’s character’s name in the movie is, Walter. Yet I’m still not making the connection. It isn’t until “Walter” runs off to do something dangerous that Leslie Caron’s character says to Cary Grant’s character,
“Walter, I look awful in black.”
(She said that because she didn’t want her new husband, Walter, to die.)
AHA!!! THAT’S why that line has been in my head all day! I KNEW that I would be watching this movie later on, but yet I DIDN’T know I would be watching this movie later on. Get it? Understand?
I was given a puzzle piece earlier in the day that I didn’t understand, of what I would be doing later on that night. It wasn’t until later on that I was able to put the puzzle together. I call that a ‘random’ clue. Just some random thought that pops into my head, that doesn’t mean anything at the time, but ends up being significant later on.
I am also connected to the t.v. I can know in my head one second before I go to the next channel what movie is playing, instinctively. When those things pop into my head I am never wrong.
They don’t’ always pop in my head, but when they do, I am correct.
Sometimes I just KNOW things. Lots of times I just KNOW things. I don’t know how I know, or why I know, I just KNOW.
I know it just as I know I am typing this right now.
That is, when it can be proven. I will give you an example:
When Gordon and I were living in Hawaii, we had only been married a few years, Gordon was assigned to a ship, he was in the Navy at the time, he kept wanting to bring one of his fellow sailor’s home to our house for dinner. I kept saying, “No.” I didn’t want that sailor in our house. Gordon was upset with me, he kept asking, “Why? Why can’t he come over for one night? You don’t even know him! You’ve never even met him before. Why are you being this way?” I kept saying that I didn’t want him in my home. I can’t explain it, but I don’t want him here. I don’t want him to come here.
It caused some arguing between Gordon and myself. Gordon kept telling me that he was a nice guy, and that I didn’t even know him to be acting this way. But I never relented. I never allowed Gordon to bring that guy to our house. A few months went by and Gordon’s ship set sail to other countries. It was in one of those countries that his “friend” was arrested for attempted murder and was in a foreign prison. Gordon came home and told me about it. He even told me some things that he had learned of that guy that he never knew. He then told me that he was glad that I fought him on having him to come over to our home.
So how did I know not to let this guy into my home? I don’t know how I knew it, I just knew it. I didn’t know what kinds of things that that guy did, I only knew NOT to let him in my house.
I cannot tell you how many things come to me in the shower. Whenever I want to figure something out I go and take a shower. Answers sometimes come flooding into me. I have had so many epiphany’s in the shower. I don’t know whether it is because I am alone and isolated, or if water has something to do with it. But in the shower is where I solve things. Whether they be problems, puzzles, questions, or insignificant trivia.
Lots of Alone Time
I have always needed lots of alone time. That is when I am able to recharge my batteries. Oh, just if you are wondering. I didn’t know I was an empath until I was 50 or so. I always thought I was just a bit psychic. I never knew exactly what I was until my 50’s. But I always knew I was different from other people in the fact that I could read people so well. When I would make a statement about someone I would always get asked, “How do you know?” And I would always reply, “I just KNOW!” I was right a lot of the time about those people that I would just “KNOW.”
I know when someone likes me, I know when someone doesn’t like me, and I know when someone is pretending to like me. I know when someone is lying to me, or deceiving me. I know when someone’s words coming out of their mouth don’t match what I am picking up from them, the feeling that is inside of me. That’s when I know I am being lied to.
I know when someone wants to do harm to me. I was once stalked by a white truck as I emerged from our beach access path at our condo a few years ago. I knew the men in the truck were bad the second I saw the truck. Funny thing is, I knew there were two white males in the truck even though I couldn’t see who was in the truck because of the tinted windows. I knew they were bad before the truck had done anything the least bit suspicious. As I was hurrying to the parking lot of our building across the street, they had backed their truck into the empty lot (at the time there was an empty lot close to our building), They had backed the truck into an overgrown area so that I couldn’t see their license number. I made it to the elevator of our building located at the bottom of our parking lot and I pressed the button. When the elevator arrived I jumped in and pressed the button to the 5th. Floor, then I jumped off the elevator, when I knew they couldn’t see me, and I quickly took the stairway up to my real floor. When they came to the bottom of the elevator of our building, all they knew was that I had gone to the 5th. Floor, which I hadn’t. I made it safely to our condo and I even brought in the wet beach chair and things so that if they did come to my floor they wouldn’t know which condo I was in.
Something else that I know about them is that they both wore white baseball caps, they were gun owners and that they voted republican. How do I know those things about them without ever seeing them clearly or even knowing them? I don’t know, I just KNOW.
My empath abilities have saved my life more times than I can remember. To me it is my super-power! I use it for survival. And thanks to that super-power, I have survived.
But with every gift there is always a curse that comes with it.
The gift is pretty obvious.
Me, age 7
(See the doll that I have pinned to me above in my school picture? I can remember the feelings of the photographer, and my teacher, about my having that doll pinned to me. I knew what they thought about it without them telling me.)
Even when I was a little girl and roaming all over Dahlonega, Ga. barefoot, I would encounter strangers offering me rides home. I knew not to get in that car or that truck because what they were saying to me didn’t match what my stomach was telling me about them. And that is where I feel it, my stomach. I’m assuming that is where, “gut feeling” came about, probably from an empath. Also seeing as how more women are empath’s than men, I am wondering if that is where, “women’s intuition” comes from? They say that one in 20 women are empath’s and that it is in our DNA and can be passed down. I know that my mother isn’t an empath, or my grandmother, but I am wondering if my great-grandmother was? I do think that my niece Lola is. When I first met her she was 5 and my brother Johnny had brought his girls over here for a visit. Gordon and I had picked them up at the airport in Orlando and were driving them out to the condo in Indian Shores. On the way I was in the backseat with Kate and Lola and we were getting to know each other. I was asking Lola about her friends back home in Ireland. She was telling me about one particular girl that she knew that just didn’t like her. Kate asked her how she knew that? Lola replied, “I just know.” Both Kate and Johnny started telling her that she didn’t know that. She was just assuming that the girl didn’t like her. Lola kept telling them that they were wrong and that she knows the girl doesn’t like her.
My niece Lola at Disney, age 5, 2009.
It was when she said that, that I started to pay close attention to her while she was visiting us. She was only 5 but she knew so many things. Strangers would remark how smart that she was. But she wasn’t book smart, she just knew things. That’s when I realized that she was like me. It is hereditary and I think she should know what she is. It will help her in life. It’s a skill and a muscle that needs to be used and understood. I told my brother about it a few years ago. I don’t know if he believes me or not. But I think Lola is an empath, just like me. It’s her super-power and she should learn about it, it can help her in life. It can save her life over and over again. She just needs to believe in herself and tune out the people that say that, ‘you don’t know that, you just think you do.’
There are times when it is wonderful to be an empath.
I was once in line at a grocery store behind a woman who had just bought her two year old son a balloon. I could feel his joy magnified inside of me and I started crying, I was so overwhelmed. It was sweet and pure and wonderful. I didn’t just see it with my eyes, I felt it inside of me. His feelings of pure joy were inside of me.
Then there are the yucky people that I encounter in life. They carry all sorts of nastiness in them and when I am around them their nastiness goes inside of me. All I ever want to do is to get away from them. As far as I can. They don’t have to say a word about how nasty they are, I just KNOW.
I sometimes hear in my head exactly what a person is about to say to me. Not always, but lots of times. So yes, sometimes I can actually read someone’s mind. But not always.
I can very easily recognize psychopaths and sociopaths. Psychopaths radiate a horrible persona that I pick up instantly. Sociopaths however, I read NOTHING!! THAT’S how I know they are a sociopath. They have no feelings. They can stand there and be charming and animated, and funny, but to me it’s like a robot standing there being charming and animated, and funny. I read NOTHING! That’s how I know to stay away from them.
I’ll start a part 2 on being an empath, but right now I’m tired and I want to do something else. I hope you enjoy reading it. Maybe you too are an empath. If so, welcome to the club.
I think we’re pretty special.
I decided to start a blog post about being an empath seeing as how I am an empath every day and I thought I could write it in kind of a diary form. So new blog post entries will be down the bottom of this post and not at the top.
When did I know I was an empath?
I always knew that I was a bit psychic, that’s what I referred to it as. I suppose that is also what it is called as well, but people immediately ‘flip a switch’ when you say that, and they think you’re crazy. But you know what? I am at a place in my life where I don’t really care what anyone thinks of me so I am going to be open here.
If I gain readers, great! If I lose readers? I will miss you, have a nice life.
(Because if you don’t I may pick up on it and believe me, I want EVERYONE to be happy!)
There is so much to tell about being an empath so I’ll just write as I think something might be interesting to relay, not necessarily in any sort of order because I don’t think anything ever is with an empath. To me it’s just a jumble of things inside of me that I have to sort out and figure out who’s feelings are who’s?
But to go back to the beginning. I have always just known things. I don’t know how I know, I just know them. When I was a little girl I just knew things. I knew which adults were not nice, I knew which adults were lying to me. I would try and tell my mother what I knew about a certain adult, but she would just scold me for daring to say something bad about someone because according to her, ‘I didn’t know what I was talking about.’
I had to ‘go along’ with things that I knew were going to be a disaster, or something that would turn out bad, because no one would believe me when I would try and warn them. So I quit trying to warn people.
I can understand why someone isn’t going to believe an 8 year old girl, about something that I clearly had no knowledge of. Yet, I DID have knowledge of it. Just not the knowledge that can be proven, at least not at the time. Sometimes I would be proven correctly later on, I would point that out to my mother, but she would always chalk it up as a coincidence. I don’t think she ever believed what I can do until a few years ago. At least now she doesn’t just dismiss me as not knowing what I am talking about. She does see that there is something to what I tell her.
I think that the best way I can really talk about this is to just continue to give you examples because when I do try and explain it, it’s just more complicated than I thought that it would be.
One day, about a year and a half ago I started thinking about someone I used to know in my home town of Rome, Georgia. His name was Joe, we grew up calling him Jo-Jo. He had down syndrome. He lived next door to my grandparent’s house and I would play with him when we were children. He was a few years older than me. I would always see him when I would go back home for a visit, at least until he was put into a home as he aged and there was no one to care for him anymore. So as I was saying above, one morning I just kept thinking about Jo-Jo. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. He was in my head all day long. I kept wondering to myself, “Why am I thinking about Jo-Jo? Why all of a sudden am I thinking about someone that I haven’t seen in 8 years or so and why can’t I get him out of my head?” What is going on?
The following day my mother sent me out an email and told me that Jo-Jo had died. He had fallen and hit his head. I wrote my mother back and I told her that in my own way I knew that he had died the day before. I asked her what time he died because I started thinking about him the morning of the day he died. That’s when my mother wrote me back and said that he had died that afternoon.
So I started thinking about Jo-Jo hours before he died?
To be clear, I didn’t know something bad was about to happen to Jo-Jo. All I knew was that I couldn’t stop thinking about him for an entire day, but I started thinking of him hours before he died, on the day he died.
So, here we go. Another example:
Back in the late 80’s Gordon’s parents came to visit us in Hawaii and we’re all out shopping at Ala Moana Shopping Center. We were in a Woolworth’s store and there was a drawing for a jade necklace. We were given lottery ticket stubs for the drawing. I KNEW that I was going to win! I KNEW that I was going to get that necklace! I knew it the second the man drew the ticket out of the bowl and had it in his hand as he was looking at the winning number. So he called the number out. It WASN’T my number! WHAT?? How can I be so wrong?? I was bummed because I KNEW I was going to get that necklace!! I just knew it!! But then my mother-in law looked at her ticket and SHE had won the necklace!! She went up there to get it, took one look at it, and then gave it to ME!! So, AHA!! I did win the necklace!! 🙂
That is a good example of being an empath. I knew that I would get the necklace, I just assumed that my ticket number would be called out, which I was wrong about, but yet I DID end up with the necklace another way, not the way I assumed that I would.
To me, the above example is what it’s like to be RIGHT and WRONG at the same time. It’s not totally clear to me all the time. Most of the time it’s just a bunch of random things that I have to figure out and put together, like puzzle pieces. Sometimes I know things so clearly that I can see it and know exactly what is about to be said, or what someone is about to do, or what is about to happen. Other times it’s not so clear.
I can very easily pick up very strong feelings, even in a room full of 20 or 30 people, I can zero in on who has feelings for me, whether they are good or bad, and even who would want to harm me.
But most times I’m just picking up a bunch of crap from people.
As an empath I can tell you that there are more yucky people out there than good ones.
When I do spot a genuine person, I make an attempt to get to know them because being around a genuine person is enjoyable. Most people aren’t worth my time as an empath. I will stay in relationships that are important to me even though I know I shouldn’t, in the hopes that the person’s feelings toward me will change and become nicer. But when they never do, I leave because It hurts too much to be around people that you know don’t like or care about you.
There was this nasty neighbor that I had living next door to us. She moved about 3 years ago, thank goodness! She would drain my dry as an empath. She is what’s known as an ‘emotional vampire’. The thing is that people like her are naturally drawn to people like me. Being around an empath makes them feel better because I absorb all her nastiness, so she feels better whereas I feel worse! I used to wake up with so much energy and ready to start on some terrific project with so much zest, but then Edna, (not her real name), would either call, or if I didn’t answer the phone, she would come knocking on my door to talk to me, for HOURS!!!! I couldn’t get rid of her to save my life! After an encounter with her I would be laying on the couch exhausted, having done nothing that day but deal with her. After a year of this I finally had to just dump her to get rid of her. She was so draining to me that for my own health I had to just sever all ties to her. She didn’t like it one bit! And she did some terrible things to our yard and my reputation in the neighborhood, but I didn’t care, I needed to get away from her. Besides, as an empath I knew never to confide in her the moment I met her. So she had nothing bad to spread around the neighborhood about me unless she made it up herself.
Being around “Edna” made her feel better, but made ME feel worse.
I do notice that with all the yucky people out there, I find myself becoming more of an isolationist. I always have been somewhat because of being an empath. It’s the only way to get all those feelings out of you that don’t belong to you.
Next Up, I am Connected to our Dogs
Oh, but before I get to the dogs, While I was in the shower, I picked up something from a few of you that just read what I wrote above and you’re wondering if I am such a great empath, then no one should be able to take advantage of me? No one should be able to trick me, or deceive me, and I should be able to go very far in life. I mean, if I can read people so well then that should give me the advantage over them, right? Actually, for me it is the opposite. I’ll get to that in just a little bit.
I CAN BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF
Remember when I told you that I can spot a psychopath? I can spot them because they radiate evil and I pick up on it. But, that doesn’t mean that I can read their minds and know what evil they are up to. I don’t pick up on details from them, I pick up from them when they are about to do whatever bad thing it is. I don’t pick up from them their planning and plotting because they aren’t exuding strong feelings then, I pick up from them when they are about to implement whatever evil or bad thing they are about to do because that is when their feelings are at their strongest.
It is the opposite with “normal” people. I pick up from them the plotting and planning so I am generally prepared for whatever a “normal” person has planned for me. My stomach will have already warned me before I walk into a situation created by them. Sometimes I don’t walk into those situations and their plan is left undone. Sometimes I’ve been able to turn the tables on whatever “plan” someone had for me, that is when it is advantageous being an empath. Like I said, it has saved my LIFE again and again. Sometimes I will go ahead and walk into an uncomfortable situation knowing full well it will be uncomfortable because I know that I need to just go ahead and ‘face the music’, whatever it may be.
I hate buying cars because I hate salesmen. And why do I hate salesmen? Because I can tell when they are lying to me. You may see a savvy, skilled, charming, talented, salesman whose skill you admire, while I see a CON ARTIST. So I will keep a car forever, long past its expiration date just so that I can avoid salesmen. When you are an empath you generally know when you are being lied to. Where are we lied to the most and by whom? Salesmen. So I try and avoid them like the plague. To me they are a necessary evil, kind of like root canal, I know I need one but I dread doing to get one. I would rather have a colonoscopy than go to a dealership and buy a new car. Really!! At least with a colonoscopy I’m getting screwed for medical reasons that could save my life, whereas with the salesman I’m just getting screwed!
So as an empath wouldn’t I know when I am being deceived? It depends. Is the salesman a sociopath? I can’t read sociopath’s. Being around them is like being around a walking, talking mannequin. I feel nothing!! It’s frightening to me. Kind of like going through life with a blindfold on.
There are also other factors at play. How many salesmen are on the floor at the dealership? 6? 8? How many lies are flying around the great room? How many customers are in room? 20? 30? As an empath I have all these people’s feelings inside of me. So we’re talking about 20, 30, 40, different feelings in me, while all I want to do is run out of there as quickly as possible and head for my OLD car that suddenly looks like the most beautiful automobile in the world!
It’s hard to zero in on what my salesmen is “lying” to me about when I’ve got 39 other people’s feelings inside of me. All these lies but who do they belong to? My salesman? One of the other salesmen? All the salesmen?
I pick up some good feelings, some bad feelings, some worried feelings, and some blah feelings. I can zero into ‘strong’ emotions, but not blah ones. Blah, is blah. Blah is white noise to me. It’s there but you kind of tune it out.
I mentioned before that I am isolating myself more and more now, but that is because there are so many unhappy people out there, tons of hate, tons of worry, tons of fear, so I try and stay away from it, which can be hard to do sometimes.
But back to why I can’t use my empathic abilities to get ahead, or to take advantage of someone.
It’s exactly BECAUSE I am an empath that I can’t.
Have you ever looked at someone that was sad? You see their sadness with your eyes? Well, I feel their feelings inside of me, even when they are doing their best to hide them. Therefor I become sad too. So by my taking advantage of someone in order for myself to get ahead will only end up making me sad in the end.
Understand? And, don’t think that I have never hurt anyone before in my life because I have. But in the end I am always the one that gets hurt as well.
Also there has been a lot of my trying to figure all of this out. It’s like having a super power but you don’t know what it is exactly. You can’t control it. You don’t know how it works. But as the years, even decades, go by I am figuring it out. I am even trying to learn how to control it, if possible.
Remember that t.v. show, Charmed?
It starred Alyssa Milano, Shannon Doherty, Rose McGowan and Holly Marie Colmes? They were sisters that discovered they were witches and were suddenly given these powers that they were learning about and trying to use and to control? I could relate to Alyssa’s character, Phoebe, as she was the psychic. Although when she would get a “vision” her character would suddenly have this ‘jolt’. I don’t get ‘jolt’s.’ I don’t flinch or have any sort of body movement, they just pop in my head while I do most anything, but especially in the shower/bathroom. Don’t know why? But my revelations come to me in the shower.
Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman
I can also relate to Benedict Cumberbatch’s character, Sherlock Holmes, in the t.v. series, Sherlock. He can look at someone and see clues all over that person so as to figure them out. I can just look at that person and see a lot of those same clues, but I see them differently. Sherlock can tell you exactly how he knows by recounting to you every little detailed clue.
Yet all I can say is, ‘He’s guilty, just cause I know.’
Am I as Smart as I think I am?
While in college my parents had me take an I.Q. test and although I am not going to give you the number, I am very well above average. Prior to my learning that number, I knew I was smart, but my test grades in school were average. Which I thought was pretty good seeing as how I never studied anything. I’m not kidding you. I NEVER studied. I also missed a lot of school due to stomach ailments. I can’t tell you how many notes my parents would write to the many schools I attended with “Julie was absent from school yesterday because of a gastrointestinal virus.” Was I really sick? Or was I just picking up all the crap inside of everyone in those schools? An empath feels everything in their stomach. I do anyway. Sometimes when a teacher would ask a question to the class I would hear the answer in my head and it would end up being the correct answer. So how did I know that answer? I don’t know, it just popped in there. Sometimes I would raise my hand and say the answer, getting it right. Only to have my teacher sometimes say to me, ‘How did you know that Julie?’ My teacher’s generally knew that I didn’t put a lot of time into studying. So when I got something very difficult correct, I think they assumed that I must be cheating. I hated school and everything about it. All I wanted to do was to get out of there and go home. Retreat to my room. Close the door and be by myself. Shut out all those feelings and emotions. Although I didn’t know that’s what I was doing at the time. All I knew was that I wanted to be alone.
When I am alone that is when all the other people’s feelings leave me. Then I am left with just mine. Being in crowds, or around a lot of people can be very draining on me. I have discovered that the only times I can handle being around a lot of people is when we are at Disney or Universal. Because most people are happy and having a good time, I am picking up on those happy emotions.
I am also very lucky to be married to a genuinely nice man. Most of the time I pick up good things coming out of him. But I did notice that in times of stress he would subconsciously come home from work and pick a fight with me. I would fight back, then after the fight he would feel better, whereas I was drained dry by the experience and laying down on the bed. He would come in and rub my feet, or my back, or my hands, trying to make me feel better. I used to call him ‘the human vacuum cleaner’ because he would suck the life out of me. He doesn’t do that anymore because now that he finally understands what I am so he is a bit kinder than he used to be. 🙂
We’ve been together in life for over 30 years so we have certainly been through a lot.
T.V. and Lottery
As I stated above sometimes I can be channel surfing and I know which movie will be on the next channel without my having a t.v. guide. I does not ALWAYS happen, but when it does I am ALWAYS correct. I’ve wondered about this? How is it that I am connected to the t.v.? And only movies? Not t.v. shows. And if I can know which movies are playing then why can’t I use this to win the lottery?
Oh, believe me when I say, I HAVE TRIED!!
I think that I have a connection to the movies programmed on the t.v. because there is an actual person/s that are doing the programming, and I pick up on them. Understand? There are living people that are deciding that. And it only works on movies, not t.v. shows. I also think I have figured that one out. Because more thought is being put into what movies to air, so I pick up on it and the answers pop into my head as I am approaching that channel.
As for the Lottery
I am not connected to a machine and some ping pong balls. Trust me when I say that I have tried my best to figure out the winning numbers but I pick up NOTHING!! So I do buy lottery tickets, I just have the machine generate the numbers for me.
So getting back to the ‘Am I as Smart as I think I am?’
Am I intelligent when the answers pop into my head without my having to do any studying? Is just KNOWING being intelligent? Or is deciphering all the clues and putting them together to come up with the answer, intelligence?
Both Sherlock and I come up with the answers but he uses intelligence to figure them out, whereas I use my empath abilities, clairaudience, clairsentience, claircognizant, and clairvoyance, but that last one scares me. I tell you why another time.
I used to think that everyone was like me, but they aren’t. I represent about 5% of the population. 20% have some ability, but I’m even rarer than they are.
Oh, and p.s. Whether or not you believe in any of this or not is irrelevant. The military spends a ton of money on psychics, police departments hire them, believe me when I say that if any government is willing to spend billions on this then there must be something to it. 🙂
I Am Connected to our Dogs
Sugar Booger and Chunky Monkee
We Don’t Own Them, They are Part of the Family
I am connected to animals and nature. Of course I am connected to our dogs, I think that most people are connected in some way to their pets, but the difference in people like me is that I don’t see them as MINE. I have never liked the words, ‘We own them, they are ours.’ I have always looked at pet ‘ownership’ as ‘pet guardianship’. I have never looked at the world the same way as most other people. I don’t see that I ‘own land’. How does one own it? I cannot relate to that at all. Owning land? I don’t view the backyard as ours. We share it with our backyard racoon, all the squirrels, lizards, spiders and snakes, butterflies, dragonflies, caterpillars, and even the mosquitos and the other bugs. Oh, and how can I forget my favorite, frogs, AND the birds, of course.
I see all of them as belonging in our backyard, this is their home too. We share it. But I feel a connection to all of these creatures whereas most other people don’t. I don’t step on all bugs, I see them as having a right to exist. I see them as belonging in our big circle of life. We all play a roll here, we’re all connected.
I see us as being more intelligent so that we can look out for the less intelligent creatures. Not so that we can dominate them. I see us as their guardians. Just as we look after our children that we bring in the world.
How I Differ From Most Empaths
Most empaths abhor clutter, and hate vintage and antiques because they once belonged to someone else and they pick up on that and therefore don’t want them. I am the exact opposite. I only care about vintage and antiques.
I HATE new things!! I think I hate new things because I don’t pick up on anything. Made in China means nothing to me. But made in the USA does. BUT, most of my vintage and antiques belonged to my grandparents and great-grandparents. Owning their things makes me happy. I feel them when I use one of the possessions. There is a residue that they left behind that I pick up on. Kind of like when someone’s perfume is still lingering in the room long after they have gone. Their signature is still there, even though they no longer are.
I feel an attachment to them through the articles that they once owned.
The gloves I am wearing, the vintage hat and purse, the cake stand, I feel the ownership of these items from the previous owners.
I do shop at thrift stores and antique malls and buy up lovely vintage and antique items from strangers that I do feel something from. But what I am picking up is good things. A platter that was used at a holiday gathering. A pair of vintage gloves that were handmaid and each bead sewn on by a seamstress that took pride in her work. If I don’t pick up good things from the items, then I don’t buy them. But I can tell you that most things made long ago were made by people that took pride in their work and craftsmanship.
Now a days, no one cares about honor, that would explain why I seek the past.
For some reason it is important for me to connect to things. If I don’t, then I don’t feel right. There is something wrong. There is something missing.
We’ll get to the ‘freaky deaky’ stuff soon enough. 🙂
Oh, and to answer a question about how I can’t see how anyone can” own” land? I think because the land is alive and I can’t see how we can own living things. So therefore I can’t relate to “owning” land. I can relate to home ownership because our house isn’t alive.
I’ll get to that in a minute but I wanted to tell about the time I ran into a powerful empath at the store, Tuesday Morning. I was doing some shopping a few years ago when I walked down this one aisle and saw this woman shopping. I recognized her immediately, but not in the way that you would recognize someone. You might recognize someone with your eyes, or if you heard the woman speak before you noticed her, then you might recognize her by her voice. But I recognized this particular woman with another sense. I knew that she was an empath and a powerful one too. At the same time I am looking at her, she stopped what she was doing and turned to look at me. She gave me that knowing smile. We never said a word to each other, we just smiled and went on our way.
But we both knew the other one was an empath. So while I’m thinking, ‘I know she’s an empath, and she knows that I know she’s an empath. She knows that I’m one too, and she knows, that I know, that she knows, that I’m one too.’
Yeah, I know. 🙂
Another time I was in an Albertson’s grocery store and I could tell by what the cashier said that she was an empath, but that she didn’t know she was an empath. It was the day after Valentine’s Day and the woman said something like this, ‘Yesterday was such a great day! Everyone was so happy and in a good mood buying up cakes, cookies and flowers. It was so much fun seeing so many happy people.’
Her mood depended on the moods of the other people she encountered. An empath, that knew they were an empath, would never say that because we would already know exactly WHY we are happy. So yes, I can spot other empath’s sometimes. But the woman I ran into at Tuesday Morning is rare for me. We both “read” each other and knew things about each other, while all the time never having to say a word.
I also know someone in another country that I believe is an empath. I tried telling her years ago but I don’t think she believes in that sort of thing so she would always kind of ‘blow me off’ whenever I would try and talk to her about it. So oh well, I tried to help.
The Late Princess Diana
Oh, and Princess Diana was an empath as well. How do I know that? Because I know.
Clairaudient = Psychic
This one is a very difficult one for me to describe because there is so much to it, at least where I am concerned. I’ve even been looking online for other explanations that might help me explain it to you. One part of being clairaudient is hearing voices.
(I KNOW, but hear me out before you run away.)
It’s like I said before when I told you that I can sometimes hear in my head what someone is about to say to me, word for word, before they even say it. For example, I may be behind someone in line at a store and I can of course hear the cashier ask the male customer, ‘how are you doing today? ‘ Then before the man even answers her, I can hear him say in my head, “I’m having a happy, slappy day today!” Right before he says it out loud. So yes, I knew what he was going to say before he even said it, because I heard it in my head.
As I also said earlier, when I was in school I would hear the answers in my head once the teacher had asked the class the question. How? I don’t know. It just popped in there. I heard it from somewhere. And it would be an answer that I didn’t know. It’s as if someone whispered the answer to me.
In the paranormal world the explanations for this are things that I’m not sure I believe in and understand fully. For example, some explanations are that angels are giving you the answers, or spirits are looking out for you, taking care of you. Some cultures see that as your ancestors are looking out for you, guiding you, helping you. Before I even knew that I always thought that my deceased grandparents were guiding me in life. How? I don’t know, it just popped in there one day.
Here is an example of something that did happen to me years ago when we were living in Maryland. I even wrote about it in my Vacation All I Ever Wanted blog. Although I never said anything in the blog post, I always thought it was my deceased grandfather that was helping me. I don’t know why I thought that. I just did.
Here is the story:
(As taken from my Vacation, All I Ever Wanted blog post.)
When we were living up in Maryland I was always getting lost. (This was all before GPS was everywhere.) The whole Maryland/D.C./Virginia area to me was very confusing. The most confusing for me was the Beltway. (It is also known as the Capital Beltway, The D.C. Beltway, or just the Beltway. But to me it was sheer HELL!!) The Beltway is Interstate 495, it is shaped like a belt and it is the highway that you take to get in to, and out of the D.C. area. In the 4 years we lived in Maryland I don’t think that I ever actually was able to exit where I needed to. Either some car or truck would not let me over, or some big giant truck in front of me was obscuring the view so that I ended up missing my exit because I couldn’t see it, or I just simply got lost. I hated that Beltway! I still do. One day I was returning to Maryland from Chesapeake, Virginia and I just knew that this will be the day. This will be the day that I actually make my exit! I am determined! I am ready! I will be triumphant!!! I am going to do it!!!! ………………………
DAMN!!!! That car won’t let me over! I’m honking my horn in anger! I try to butt in front of him but I’m scared I might cause a wreck so I give up and keep on driving straight. I then take the next exit. I have no idea where I am going. I’m angry at myself, I’m angry at all the traffic. I’m cussing and hitting the steering wheel with my fist. Yes, Julie is having a meltdown and it is not pretty!!
(Note: Just so you understand the area. There is NO place to pull over and read a road map. No parking lots. You have no choice but to just keep driving.)
Luckily when I get to the top of the ramp the light is red. Pretty much the only time I ever welcome a red light. So I wipe away the tears, tell myself to calm down and THINK, and I start to look around to try and decide where I need to go. I can remember being in this part of town before. I also remember that I had gone straight that time before and ended up in a very shady neighborhood at night in my Issuzu Amigo with the partial top. In some neighborhoods in D.C. they will shoot you as you drive by. So I knew not to go straight. I knew that I had to go either left or right. So as I am trying to figure out which way to go, and I am surveying the area looking for any sort of sign to guide me, I suddenly spot this truck driving by directly in front of me. The sign on the truck said, Lancaster Foods. Lancaster Foods? I know where that is! My maiden name is Lancaster. I looked again and I saw a sign also on the truck that said, Brodie Freight Company. My son’s name is Brodie. It was even spelled the same way that his name is, with the” ie” and not the “y”. It then dawned on me that I know where Lancaster Foods is located, Jessup, Maryland. It is right down the street from the military base where we were living. I then looked at my watch and it was 4:30 p.m. I guessed that the truck was probably finished with all its delivery’s for the day and is on its way back to Jessup, Maryland. If I just follow that truck, it will lead me home!
It did! I made it home. I made it home because I surveyed all the information around me and I spotted my way out. What happened to me reminded me of the Jim Lovell story that I write about above. Just when you think you are lost and you’ve lost all hope, just look around you, there will be something there that will guide you home. Just look for it. But in order to see it you first have to wipe that fear out of your mind because it is impossible to think when we are afraid. It is scientifically proven that when we are afraid our brains do not work. So remember that next time.
(As taken from Vacation, All I Ever Wanted.)
So the Above is What I Wrote
But what I never told you, although I did tell a few people this that I was close to, I think that it was my deceased grandfather that helped me through that. He died when I was 14, and although I was in my 40’s at the time of my story above, I felt that it was HIM.
My grandmother told me when I was growing up that my grandfather worried about me all the time. He thought about me a lot and talked about me a lot up until he died.
So do I know for a FACT that my grandfather helped me when I was lost? No, I don’t. But it did just pop in my head at the time and I felt wonderful inside my stomach. 🙂
More on Clairaudient
I Don’t Have Learning Disabilities
If you have been a regular reader of my blog posts then you may note that I have mentioned in the past that I have ‘learning disabilities’. I actually don’t. I just said that as a cover for my clairaudient. I didn’t mean to deceive you but it is something of a protection for me. Allow me to explain.
Another part of clairaudient is hearing things out loud. When I was growing up and in school I would do very well in classes where the teacher went over everything in class. When I would hear something out loud, then I could retain it and remember it. But if I had a teacher that said, ‘Read chapters 3 and 4 tonight and we will test on it tomorrow,’ then I would not be able to retain it, thus making a bad grade on the test the following day. My parents would be puzzled as to why I would score a high grade in, let’s say Business Economics (something that I could care less about), but a low grade in something that I was very interested in, let’s say, art? It would depend on the teacher. I could remember everything that I heard in class, (this is why empath’s are knows as good listeners. It’s because we tend to remember everything that we hear), but not retain anything that I had read silently at home to myself. I am clairaudience. I have to hear it to learn about it. This is why I talk to myself out loud when I am alone.
(AGAIN, Don’t run screaming from me until you’ve heard me out.)
I may have a grocery list in my hand. All I have to do is read it out loud to myself, before I go into the store, and then I can go into the grocery store without the list. Even if it has 30 items or more on it. Because I heard it, I can remember it.
Another example is this: When we were living in Hawaii and I was pregnant with my daughter Veronica, I had bought her a crib. When it arrived I could not for the life of me figure out the instructions to put it together. Gordon was out to sea at the time. I was alone to figure it out. I read the instructions over, and over, but I just couldn’t figure them out. So I got so mad at myself that I read the directions out loud. STEP 1!…….. It was when I read it out loud that I GOT IT! I understood it! I could then put the crib together myself. I had to hear it out loud in order for me to understand the instructions and put it together.
Now I suppose that what I recounted to you above could be construed as a ‘learning disability’.
We Tend to Put Things in Linear Form
When we don’t understand something we tend to try and rationalize it and put it into a neat little box that makes sense to us. But for an empath or clairvoyant, there is no linear. When we try and put things into linear then we are doing ourselves an injustice as there is no tidy little “box” to put things in.
“My Sister’s Funeral”
Another example I can give you about Clairaudience is sometimes I say things out loud that I have no knowledge of, but yet they come true, as in predictions. For example, in the early 90’s my half-sister was getting married to someone that I had never met, or knew anything about him or his family. We were living in Hawaii, while she lived in Georgia. I did not grow up with her as we just share the DNA of our biological father. I think that when siblings don’t grow up together in the same home that they are never really close in life.
Well, she was getting married that summer and it just so happened that I was going home to Georgia that summer as well, to visit with my own family. Little Veronica and I would be attending the wedding.
When friends in Hawaii would ask me what all I would be doing in Georgia that summer I was say, “We are going to my sister’s funeral.” Gordon overheard me say that a few times and exclaimed, “WHAT did you just say?” I would then repeat the sentence, “We are going to my sister’s funeral.” I then noticed the odd expressions on the faces of my husband and friend. Gordon told me that I was saying the word “funeral”. “Funeral? I did not!” I insisted that I did not say that! But then my friend piped up and said that I did! I’m still insisting that I didn’t say that! Why would I say that? She’s getting married, she’s not dead!
Even on the airplane for the flight over from Honolulu to Atlanta, I was sitting next to a woman who struck up a conversation with me. It was a pleasant conversation and we talked about many things, but one of the things she asked was what all I would be doing while I was in Rome visiting? I told her that little Veronica would get to see her very first funeral. The woman just looked at me strange, that’s when I realized that I’ll bet I said “funeral” again. Why do I keep saying that?
It was also while I was in the company of my mother at that time that I kept referring to my half-sister’s wedding as her “funeral”. My mother scolded me many times over and told me to quit saying that! I tried to explain to her that I’m not aware that I keep saying that! I don’t mean to do it!
After the wedding Veronica and I were at the reception, we met the groom’s parents for the first time and they remarked to me what a wonderful couple my half-sister and their son made. That is when I said something to the effect of, ‘Yes, he’s very nice for a first husband.’ It was after I said that, or some version of that, that I noticed the odd looks on their faces and I realized that, here we go again! What did I just say? I asked little Veronica later on what I said and she recounted a little bit of it for me, but she did say ‘first husband’. That’s when I realized that we shouldn’t even be there. I wanted to leave but I didn’t want to be rude, so Veronica and I just sequestered ourselves to an out of the way table. We were also lucky that not many people cared to talk to us that day as well. Everyone I knew personally was in the family and friends section and they were all sitting up front together.
So the bride and groom left and went on their honeymoon. Veronica and I got to see them leave. The one thing that I did know about the feelings that I was picking up on were that there were people that just didn’t want us there. And in retrospect, we probably shouldn’t have gone anyway. But one thing that did happen was that the marriage did end up being something of a disaster. The groom was a disaster, his parents were a disaster, and lots of terrible things happened in that marriage that led to a very sad divorce and just a lot of crap that came with it. Some very hard times for my half-sister. So I guess you could say that on her big wedding day that it did end up being her funeral.
She did go on to get married again though.
To a clairaudient sometimes we say things that turn out to be true, even though we have no knowledge of them at the time. I didn’t know the marriage would turn out badly, at least not consciously. I’m sure you’ve seen in movies where there is a psychic waving her hands over a crystal ball, when suddenly she will go into a trance and start saying all these things. Suddenly, she will snap out of it with no knowledge of what she just said? That’s kind of how it works for me except so far there has never been a trance, at least none that I’ve been told, I just blurt out stuff that comes true.
This is no Freudian Slip
Most of you know what a Freudian slip is. It’s when we accidentally say something that we really mean, but didn’t mean to say. For example, let’s say that I hate my step-mother. I may accidentally refer to her as my step-monster. That is a Freudian slip. I said something that I shouldn’t have, but that it revealed how I really feel about her.
In the above example of “My Sister’s Funeral”. I had no knowledge that her first marriage was going to turn out badly. At least not consciously. My psychic self knew, whereas my conscious self didn’t.
More to come…..
I have always hated loud noises. Always have. Whereas most people may tolerate them, I despise them! They really do bother me psychically.
When I am worried about something and need to figure something out then I talk it out loud. Hearing it out loud helps me to solve the problem, whatever it may be. Interesting enough, answers also just pop in my head when I talk the problem out loud. Especially when I am alone. So yeah, I do talk to myself. That is what clairaudience is. It is all about the HEARING.
Speaking of hearing…..
There was once a woman in a restaurant that was sitting in a booth talking to herself, not harming anyone at all, but just talking to herself. The manager of the restaurant threw her out because she was talking to herself. Then in comes another woman to take her place. She sat in the booth with a blue tooth, talking to herself for the entire duration.
What is the difference?? They both sat there talking to themselves? Only one had something attached to her ear. Guess that made her more plausible.
I have always thought that people like me are able to just naturally tap into a part of our brain that enables us to do these things. That’s why I believe that it is genetic. Like red hair is passed down in a family line, or perhaps a prominent facial feature is passed down. I have read that “psychics” do receive more blood flow to a certain part of the brain than the average person. Even though this ability places us in the paranormal category, I still think it’s based on science. I always have. But then again I’m not a scientist so…..
Everyone Has Experienced Some Psychic Ability
Have you ever heard the phone ring and you knew who it was before you answered the phone, even when you haven’t spoken to that caller in years? You picked up on their thoughts of you as they were dialing. You had a connection. That’s what it’s like for me except I experience those things every day in some way or another.
Star Trek The Next Generation
Marina Sirtis as Counselor Deanna Troi
Remember that t.v. show? It’s still on BBC America and I watch it regularly because it makes me feel good. One of the characters of the series was an empath by the name of Deanna Troi. She was the ship’s counselor. She was born on a planet where everyone was an empath. What I loved about her was that she was very comfortable with what she was. I also loved that the captain valued her abilities and would always have her sit in on negotiations and first contacts. He listened to her when she would warn him not to trust whomever they were in a closed meeting with because she was “sensing” deception. That is what it’s like for me. Sometimes I will just sense a deception. I may not know what the deception is, but I know someone is trying to deceive me.
I also love how comfortable people were around her. They didn’t view her as a freak, or try and avoid her because of what she could do. They liked her, they liked being around her. There is this one photo of her that I found online that I connected to immediately. It’s this one.
Why do I identify with this photo?
Because that’s what I do a lot. You just receive downloads from who-knows-where and you try and figure them out to understand them. While I was typing this I got a download. You get a ringing in your ears and you experience pressure, kind of like when you are on an airplane and you are adjusting to the pressure and your ears are popping? For me my hearing is suddenly dulled, like I’ve put my hands over my ears and can’t hear as well. Except I get downloads just going about my daily life. But sometimes I do sit down and take it all in.
(Although not while wearing a sexy, pink nighty.) 🙂
My Grandfather, Franklin Elwood Haskin
When I try and think where I inherited this gift from I think the only person that I could have got it from is my grandfather. When I think of my biological father’s side of the family I can tell you with great certainty that none of them are empathic. When I think of my mother, maternal grandmother, and that Keith line, I can tell you with certainty that none of them are/were empathic. But when I think of my grandfather, it just feels like it is his side. He was adopted as a child and we know nothing of his biological family. My grandfather was the nicest man there was. I can remember that when he died there was standing room only at his funeral. I was 14 at the time. I can remember feeling like the most important person in the world when I was with him.
My grandmother used to say that when she and him were walking down the street that sometimes he would take her hand and cross to the other side of the street because he just knew there would be trouble if he continued walking down the other side of the street as there were some men coming that way. She said he would do those things often.
I foolishly kept thinking that my empathic relative would be a female great-grandmother that I had never met, or perhaps my great-grandmother Keith? But I don’t think that she was. To me the mysterious relatives that I know nothing about, are probably where it comes from. Interestingly enough, they actually could be of Greek heritage, where the Greek muses come from. Greek’s were known to ‘hear voices’ from their muses, whispering in their ears great poetry and ideas.
I know, it’s probably all rubbish but I still like to dream…….
You know there are men out there that are empaths. They are more rare than the females, but they do exist. Perhaps my grandfather was one and that is where I get it from? I think he passed his gift down to me, and thus onto his great-granddaughter Lola, my niece. How cool that we are continuing the tradition. 🙂
I Don’t See Dead People (Well, actually…….)
You know, the funny thing is that I was going to write all of you to assure you that I’m not one of those” psychic” people that have ever seen a dead person, but then it dawned on me, OH, YES I HAVE!
How could I forget, right? Well I did forget!
When you have seen some freaky things for the past 55 years then you forget about some of them. I have noticed that when I watch a movie and someone see’s something scary they tend to run out of the house screaming, whereas when I see something “odd”, I just continue reading my book. I started to say the word, “scary” where I posted the word, “odd”. But to me it isn’t scary. I’ve never been afraid of these things. They are just part of life for me. What I consider to be “normal” you may see as “terrifying”. I will get to all of that soon, but if some “ghost” dared to try and scare me they would fail miserably. It takes a hell of a lot to scare me. Besides, I know that no “ghost” would dare try and scare me because they know I am comfortable around them. I don’t fear them. I adore them!
PEOPLE, are who I fear the most!
When we bought our house……………..
We bought our house 10 years ago from a widow that had just lost her husband. When we moved in we were told by some neighbors that James had a heart attack and died at the hospital, so Carol decided to sell the house and move closer to her children. That is all that we knew.
When we moved in to this house I immediately started to notice some strange things. But for me, strange things are normal, so I tend to just dismiss them. But Gordon and Brodie started noticing some strange things as well.
I immediately starting seeing strange things in the house. For example, when I would brush my teeth in our bathroom, I would see something very blurry up near the ceiling. Kind of like when you are driving down the road in the hot summer and you see some steam rising from the hot asphalt? Or kind of like a mirage? We have a very large bathroom. High, Florida ceilings, we have a toilet room, and a very large tub and double sink vanity. It’s a big bathroom. But when I would see something strange, I would just continue doing whatever it was I was doing.
I cannot tell you how many times that I would be up on the ladder with my hammer and nails, only to put the hammer down and it would disappear.
It happened a lot while I was alone. What happened to my hammer? I just put it down! Where did it go? I would then just go and get another one out of the garage and start again. I never said anything to Gordon, or Veronica, or Brodie, about any of this because to me it was no big deal. It did happen quite frequently though.
Finally, one Saturday afternoon Gordon was in our bedroom hanging photos on the wall when he yelled to me, “Come on, bring it back! Come on Julie, bring it back!” I was in the kitchen at the time and I came into our bedroom and I asked what he wanted? He told me to give it back! I asked what I needed to give back? He told me, the hammer that I had taken. I told him that I was in the kitchen the whole time and that I didn’t have any hammer. I then realized that he was experiencing what I had been experiencing. He was missing things too! How exciting that it wasn’t just ME it was happening to! Oh, this is great! I then shared with him what I had been going through ever since we moved in.
It was nice not to be the only one strange things happened to! (For a change.)
We decided to keep this to ourselves and not tell Veronica and Brodie. But Brodie was noticing strange things on his own. And not just him, but his friend Justin. One day Justin asked if we had found a Star Wars CD? He then went on to tell us that it was so strange, he placed the CD on the table and then when he turned around to get it, it was gone! That’s when I realized that we had better tell Brodie what was going on as we’re all experiencing things that were missing.
The missing items would always show up two weeks later, in the same spot that they went missing!
I was also seeing strange things in our living room. I would see a man sitting on a chair staring straight ahead, as if watching the t.v.. I would also see a cat enter the room, only to not actually be there at all! I did see the cat more than I saw the man, if that means anything.
I am just assuming that the “man ghost” that I was seeing was James. I didn’t know what he looked like, I still don’t.
We started asking our neighbors about the L. family. What were they like?
I was told that James L. was a practical joker. Ah, I thought, that would explain all the missing items. We also learned that his wife Carol did keep his ashes here in the house. Well, that might explain why he was still here. Maybe he didn’t know that she had gone? Or where she had gone? YA -HOO!!! We have ourselves a ghost!! I was so happy!!! My very own ghost!! How cool is that??
I LOVED HAVING A GHOST IN THE HOUSE!!
One evening Gordon and I were in our bedroom talking. I was sitting on a comfy chair and Gordon was lounging on our bed. All of a sudden I saw this white thing fly all around the room. The entire time I was talking to Gordon I was following the thing with my eyes as it darted here and there all around the room. I then saw it swoop into our bathroom, hover over the bathtub a few seconds and then drop very fast into the tub. All of a sudden Gordon exclaimed to me, “YOU SAW THAT!!! I SAW YOU!! I WATCHED YOUR EYES!! YOU SAW THAT!!
I told him that “Of course I saw that! I’ve been seeing things like that ever since we moved in here. I think it’s our ghost. I think it’s James L.”
I had always wanted to live in a haunted house and my wish came true!! I was very excited!
I may have been exhilarated to have a ghost in the house, but our son Brodie wasn’t. Gordon didn’t really care however, and Veronica was rarely here to even notice a ghost at that time. She was busy with school, work, and friends/boyfriend. But Brodie was still young and in high school.
He and I talked about our ghost. He and I even looked online to see if we had a ‘haunted house’. We came across a website that informed you that you had a haunted house if any of these things had happened to you…..
We read the information. And while I was thrilled that we had a ghost! Brodie was busy ready about ‘how to rid your home of a ghost.’ I read that part too, but I wasn’t interested in getting rid of him. The article stated that in order to get rid of a ghost just be polite and ask the ghost to leave. Tell the ghost sternly that it needs to go somewhere else as it isn’t wanted here. I had no idea that Brodie hated having a ghost in our house. It wasn’t until about a month later that I asked Brodie one day if he had seen anything strange because I hadn’t in about 3 weeks and I was wondering what was going on with James? It was at that point that Brodie told me that he had asked him to leave.
I then said, “You did WHAT??”
He then repeated to me that he had asked our ghost to leave. I was so mad at Brodie for doing that! I loved having a ghost in our house. I missed James. But he never came back. Neither one of us have experienced anything the least bit odd in years. Not in our home, anyway.
But yes, for one day I did see a dead man sitting in our chair back in 2006. I think it was James L. I saw that stupid ghostly cat more than I did him!
Some Spooky Photos of Veronica
Wrapped Around a Spirit?
Being sucked into a vortex?
See the Orb watching over her?
Some of our Diamond Head “Spirit Photos”.
Orbs in our Living Room years ago. Look above!
When I am laying on our couch and I look up, I do see those light orbs around the light fixture. I also see them when I wake up in the morning. They blink all around our bedroom ceiling. I don’t always have a camera to catch them but the above is what they look like.
To be continued…….
I’ve always called them “scenes”. I don’t know what they really are, all that I do know is that they scare me. Which is why I try not to access them.
The first “scene” that I can remember was when we were living in Hawaii and I closed my eyes to try and go to sleep, when all of a sudden I saw this man from behind. He was wearing a tan jacket. He was middle aged and had this blondish curly hair. I could see him so clearly. All of a sudden he turned around and looked at me. He was looking right at me! He had this horrible mean expression on his face. He was looking down at me. All of a sudden he charged towards me and that is when I opened my eyes and broke the connection by the time he reached me. I was terrified! I didn’t understand it at the time but I’ve come to understand it now.
About a year ago I went to bed and as I closed my eyes I suddenly saw this lovely park. It was very pretty. Lots of trees, people, I even saw this couple riding their bikes. I could see it as clearly as I am seeing my surroundings right now. I couldn’t hear anything though. I can only SEE. It was lovely, but the connection ended, but not by me. I would have loved to have viewed the lovely “scene” longer.
About a year ago, I was lying in bed, I had just closed my eyes when I saw yet another “scene”. It was again in a park, very beautiful and sunny. I suddenly spotted this couple kissing on a park bench. They were very into each other, but then suddenly stopped kissing and turned around and looked right at me! It totally FREAKED me out! They saw me! How could they see me? It was so real!
That’s when it dawned on me that I am seeing these things through someone else’s eyes.
The man I saw that charged me? I think he was charging someone either small, (a child) or someone crouching on the floor. The lovely park, with the couple riding their bikes? The connection was broken because whomever was watching them, stopped watching them.
The couple kissing on the park bench? They apparently didn’t like whomever was watching them and turned to look at that person.
This is called Clairvoyance and Remote Viewing
Interestingly enough, Remote Viewers are whom the government hires.
Lately I’ve become more interested in exploring this. I am very new to it, as I tend to not like it so when I do make a connection, I tend to break it.
But I am at an age where I want to know all that I can do. I want to explore that. I just want positive things to come from it. Not anything terrifying. Like I said, humans scare me the most. So when I do this, I am looking at the world through the eyes of humans.
You know, no ghost has ever harmed me. But plenty of humans have. So the paranormal world is nicer to me, than this reality, which is why I don’t fear them. But to look at the world through the eyes of human beings, I just want to see nice things. Not horrible ones.
The Dead Zone, Anthony Michael Hall
I cannot do what all he does, but I can do what some of what he does.
I think that television makes it so clear to appeal to an audience. But in real life/clairvoyant life, it’s not so clear. It can be blurry, it can be stark clear, or in silhouette. It depends.
I had a dream 3 nights ago of two things that were going to happen to me. Both of those things happened to me yesterday.
I would share them with you but they are personal so I am not going to.
This is what’s it’s like to be me.
I talk above about how I can dream something and it comes true. That has happened to me my whole life. Whether they be little things or life changing things. Most of the time it’s just a ‘wait and see’ where that fits in my life. Just to give you an example. I woke up very quickly one night because I saw the numbers One, Nine, Five, Three. 1953. I knew those numbers were significant, it was just a matter of seeing when they would show up in my life the following day. I only knew them as 1953. I didn’t see them as One Thousand, Nine-Hundred and Fifty-Three, or even Nineteen Fifty-Three. I only saw them as 1,9,5,3. The very next night I was watching a DVD that I hadn’t seen in a few years, it was the Vampire Diaries Season 1, Disk 1, and Eleana was doing research on the old Salvatore Boarding House and she wanted whatever they had from 1953. Now I can hear you right now, ‘That was just a coincidence’. Yeah, maybe you are right. But when these things happen to you most every day you start to see them as something more significant. That same night I dreamed of something major that would happen, and it did. I would share it with you but it involves other people that I am close to and I want to protect their privacy.
I’ve also discovered through the years that I dream differently than other people do.
I’m sure that everyone has had some significant dream in their life when they go into work the next day and say something to the effect that, ‘I had the weirdest dream last night,’ or ‘I had the funniest dream last night,’ or ‘I have to tell you about the dream I had last night.’
We all dream, except that I have discovered that most people don’t dream like I do. Most of my dreams are very vivid, colorful, clear. I’ll have several different dreams in one night, anywhere from 4 – 6 or 7. Sometimes they continue as in a part 1, then I dream part 2, then I dream part 3. Others are all different. Some of my dreams are like I am in a movie playing a part, sometimes I am another person, I’m not always me in my dreams.
I do recognize all the Freudian symbolism that we all have in our dreams, they are in mine as well.
Sometimes I feel like I’m Alice In Wonderland, surrounded by all these weird characters that I’m interacting with.
Me Age 2
When I was little I would tell my mother about my dreams and she would look at me with this strange expression on her face because I don’t think she could not believe that a little girl could know so much, and have such an ‘active’ imagination.
As I got older I would tell my girlfriends about dreams that I would have and they would just be blown away with how vivid my dreams were. I could recount tiny little details of each of them. So while most people dream one way, I seem to dream another way. I can dream very precise. I have conversations with the most interesting people in my dreams. They tell me things, they give me advice, they give me ideas. Then I wake up and I have all these inspirational things that I want to do. I’ve come up with some of the best inventions, things that haven’t been invented yet. I’ll tell them to Gordon and he will always tell me not to say anything to anyone about them, we might just try and invent them ourselves someday. He just needs time to figure out how to make them work.
Last night when I went to bed and closed my eyes, I was channel surfing trying to find someone to tune into, (in my head.) I was looking for some nice “scene” that I could view. I came across a few that were boring and uninteresting but I finally found one that was very nice. I could see very clearly these 3 young women sitting on a wall, wearing jean shorts and eating ice cream. They were in their late teens or early 20’s and they were good friends. I know this because I know, remember? And they were having such a good time being together. It made me nostalgic to be young and carefree again. (Although I wouldn’t change places with anyone just to be young again.) But I did watch them for about a minute and then the connection broke. Whomever was looking at them moved on.
What I don’t know about any of these “scenes” are where it’s taking place? I can only SEE, Not HEAR. It was sunny where the girls were, and I was in bed here at home, so was this out in California somewhere? Or maybe in another country? I didn’t see any landmarks to know. Am I seeing the past? The present? The future? I don’t any of these things.
I suppose that some of you may think that I am asleep and that I just didn’t know it?
I can tell you that I wasn’t but that doesn’t mean you will believe me. But when I do dream, I have hearing.
In my “scenes”, I can only SEE.
Kind of like watching the t.v. with no volume. I know that I’m not asleep.
What WE All Believe
When it comes to believing anything, it doesn’t matter how much evidence or facts there may be. Whether the evidence is physical or circumstantial, or whether it is just something that we feel and believe in.
People believe whatever they want to believe.
Your average person would rather believe the lie that makes that feel good, as opposed to the truth that makes them feel bad.
You can present all sorts of evidence but that doesn’t mean that anyone will believe in it.
So whether or not you believe me about any of this is totally up to YOU. 🙂
But just because we may not understand something doesn’t mean that it isn’t true.
Just to reassure you, I don’t go around reading people’s minds, or probing your brains. 🙂
To me my “gift” has always helped me to survive what is out there. I never used it to take advantage of anyone, or to get ahead, I have always used it to just survive, not thrive.
I had a very hard life growing up with lots of new schools and lots of abuse from my parents.
I am a very laid back person and I have never been particularly ambitious. All I have ever wanted to do was whatever I wanted to do each and every day. I’m not interested in running over anyone to get ahead. I am a private person. I do realize that I put myself out there, for someone that is supposed to be private. But that is my super-power. I am an artist of sorts. I put myself out there while I hide at the same time. I do want to connect, but not too closely.
The internet was invented just for someone like me. This is our perfect way to connect without actually connecting.
I am not a threat to anyone! So don’t worry about that. I would rather blog my interests and drink a glass of wine, than to probe someone’s mind. No offense, but most people don’t interest me. Most people are average and average doesn’t interest me. Average is neither smart, nor dumb. Unfortunately I think that I am too into myself to care about what anyone else is doing. I have so many ideas, and projects, and interests that I want to pursue.
I do have my favorite people out there that inspire me and I do keep up with them, but most of the time I am working on my own projects and ideas.
(Unless your I.Q. is over 200, then you needn’t worry about me.) 🙂
You know, I have a cyber-stalker that has nothing else better than to follow my every move. The last thing in the world that I want is to be like him. To me that is the most pathetic of people. Someone that has no life that they stalk someone else. I never want to be like him! He has read my email, listened to my cell phone calls, listens to conversations in the room through our cell phones, walked into every single account that I have ever had online, etc. why would I want to be as pathetic as him?
Just because we can do something, doesn’t mean that we should do it.
Well, now that you know what I am, I want to work on other things. I will probably update this blog post as something significant happens. I do have a story that I do want to recount to you but I want to get some other things out of the way first. Do you know how some people may have this nagging feeling pulling you into another direction? Well, I’ve got 50 feelings of ideas pulling me into many different directions and I want to tackle some of them as they fulfill me creatively and I want to do them. Sometimes I wish there were 20 of me to do all these things that I want to do. I wish I were rich enough to employ many assistants to help me get all these ideas out there. But I only have myself and Gordon and we do the best that we can, given the time that we have. 🙂
So stay tuned! I’m glad that you care enough to read my blogs on my website.
New York Today
I was thinking that I wasn’t going to be writing very much more on this blog except when something came up that I think is relevant. As you may know there was an explosive device that went off in New York today/last night, that injured 29 people. And a second device was found that hadn’t gone off yet. I just wanted to comment on this because it was back in 2002/2003 that I spoke to a group of women in Maryland when we were living there, that the same thing that happens in Israel will start to happen here because we went into Iraq and started all that. I can remember the looks of disapproval that most of the women gave me. They shook their heads at what I said, they narrowed their eyes at my comments, and they barely spoke to me throughout the rest of the meeting.
To me, it was obvious that was what will happen over here because of what we did, but to everyone else, it isn’t. One thing that I am very good at is connecting dots. I think being an empath helps me to do that very well. Which is why I think that I would have made a great detective if I had been given the chance. 🙂 It is really too bad that you have to be a police officer before you can be a detective. That eliminates a lot of us that don’t want to shoot anyone, but we would like to help solve crimes.
I don’t know always how different I am from other people. I think that if I could switch bodies with a “normal” person then I would probably realize more about myself that I just take for granted. Perhaps I couldn’t connect dots as well. Or perhaps I do things naturally that I just assume that everyone can do, but actually they can’t. I didn’t realize that I dreamed differently than others until I started talking to other people about their own dreams and started comparing notes.
It is amazing to me that with this upcoming election that the candidates are so close in the polls.
How can anyone not see that our choices are a politician that lies, (they all lie, just concern yourself with what they are lying about. Bill Clinton lied about sex, George W. lied us into war.), OR THE END OF THE WORLD.
Why is that such a hard decision to make??
We wouldn’t have a Donald Trump right now if it weren’t for a Sarah Palin.
We wouldn’t have had a Sarah Palin if it weren’t for a George W. Bush.
We wouldn’t have had a George W. Bush if it weren’t for a Karl Rove and a George H.W. Bush.
We wouldn’t have a George H. W. Bush if it weren’t for a Ronald Regan.
We wouldn’t have a powerful Evangelical community that votes Republican if it weren’t for Ronald Regan.
Like I said, I connect dots.
The Iraq War put us onto a trajectory where there is no getting off. Get used to it.
When George W. Bush won the Presidential election in 2004 I got up from my computer, devastated, and went and took a shower where I cried my eyes out for about an hour. I was depressed for a good 2 weeks over that. The world didn’t blame us for the 2000 Presidential election because they knew that Bush was SELECTED by the Supreme Court and not ELECTED by the American people. But in 2004, they blamed us!
And if we don’t vote responsibly in 2016, they will blame us for that as well.
They Say that Empath’s are Healers
As an empath I do believe this. I write above about how my former neighbor “Edna” would always seek me out everyday to unload on me. I hated it! She would suck me dry and leave me lying on the couch the rest of the day exhausted from an encounter with her, while she was happy and carefree the rest of the day. I was literally a sponge to her drama and I would absorb all the nastiness in her, while she would feel better and be on her way with a spring in her step. She is what is known as an ’emotional vampire’. They suck the life out of empath’s.
But something that I have discovered is that when I give Gordon a massage, or a foot rub, I can feel what areas to touch that make him feel better, without him telling me. I can actually feel his feelings when I massage those areas. I cannot feel the pleasure, but I feel that he feels pleasure. And I am still talking about a foot rub, by the way.
Gordon and I are aging and we have a few knots and muscle spasms here and there that we rub out for each other. I haven’t taken any pain killers in years because I haven’t needed to. When I get a headache Gordon will rub the spot out from my neck/shoulder blades/ back of the head, depending, and my headache goes away.
Reflexology pertains to massaging certain areas of the foot that makes the entire body feel good, through the nerve endings. I truly believe this works. I have discovered that when I am totally exhausted but I need to keep going, I will have Gordon to rub my feet as I lay face down on the bed, with my feet dangling over the side. By massaging in an upward direction toward my heel, it revives me and I go from being exhausted to ready to get up and tackle whatever I need to. It wakes me up! I think that as we age we need to take care of each other, as partners, and help each other with our various aches and pains. I would rather Gordon to rub out my headache than for me to take some prescription medication to do it.
But back to being a “healer”, I do see how empath’s are healers. Another example that I can give you is actually one that read online that I can totally relate to as an empath.
The example that I read was about how a woman had woke up one morning and readied herself for a doctor appointment that she had. She was feeling very good and happy and went about her day with good feelings. But while she was sitting in her doctor’s office she noticed a woman enter, and she could tell that the woman was in pain. The woman that entered noticed the “empath” and sat down next to her, even striking up a conversation. The woman confided in the “empath” about how she felt. As she spoke to the “empath” she started to feel better. But the empath started to feel worse than when she entered. That’s what it’s like to be an empath.
You make others feel better while we feel worse. We are sponges for bad feelings. People seek us out without knowing why? All they know is that they feel better when they are around us. Just like “Edna” did. “Edna” never consciously knew why she needed to talk to me everyday. She only knew that she needed to.
Most empath’s seem to go into a healing professional, mostly in counseling. I myself wanted to go into detective work. That is a profession that I don’t hear many empath’s going into. I only know that it would help me to solve crimes and bring people to justice. That’s what I wanted.
I will never know what could have been, but I would have loved to have found out. 🙂
October 19, 2016
Last Sunday I was in the bathroom blow drying my hair by the bathroom sink.
Gordon was plowing through the clothes hamper gathering up a load of laundry to wash. All of a sudden I started singing an old Burt Bacharach song, ‘What the world needs now, is love sweet love.’ Suddenly Gordon exclaimed to me, “I was just thinking about that song!” He asked me why I was singing it and I replied, “It just popped in my head.” From what I have read white noise plays a role in empath’s and other psychic’s receiving information. I have noticed that myself, I’ll write more about that later on. But Gordon was standing to my left, I had the blow dryer in my left hand when I received that message. Or rather, when the song just popped in my head. Did it travel through the white noise of the blow dryer?
Another example that I can give you was one day Gordon and I were in line behind someone at a grocery store when I suddenly had the idea for us to make a certain dish that we hadn’t eaten in a while. (No white noise here.) I mentioned it out loud to Gordon. That’s when the woman in front of me turned around and said, “I was just thinking the same thing myself!” Did I just pick up on her thoughts? Or did I just put that thought into her head? OR is it just a coincidence? When you are an empath these things happen all the time. Sometimes I do know what someone is about to say, word for word, before they even open their mouths. How? Because I heard them say it in my head before they said it out loud. Sometimes I know who’s thought is in my head, and other times I don’t.
Another example: Last weekend I was getting tired and just when I was about to ask Gordon to give me a foot rub, he said, “Do you want me to rub your feet?” That’s when I told him that I was just about to ask him to do that. 🙂
The Liver Pate
When I was dating Gordon his parents made this liver pate a lot when they had people over. Although I didn’t care for it at the time, I think that I would now so I asked Gordon to contact his parents for the recipe. He then sat down and wrote them an email. His dad wrote back that it was so coincidental because he had just gone shopping that day for the ingredients for them to make their liver pate.
Did I pick up on Mr. Whann’s thoughts of making the pate and that triggered my wanting to try it?
I guess we’ll never know for sure, but these kinds of things happen to me every day.
Our Condo View
(When it’s rainy, even better!)
But getting back to white noise. I have noticed that when I am out at the beach condo with the ocean view right out in front of me, and the washer and dryer going in the background, I pick up on so many things. Don’t tell my mother but sometimes I run the washer without anything in it just to pick up information from who knows where. I need that white noise. I could solve the world’s problems from the beach condo. 🙂
Just being out there all alone I tend to get a flood of information. I don’t know why? I don’t know where it comes from? All I know is that I receive it.
Note: Gordon bought us a new dish washer last November.
It’s QUIET! I HATE IT! I need that white noise!
I Haven’t Had a Download in Weeks
I’ve talked about downloads before. A download is when my ears start ringing and my hearing goes dull. This can last a minute or longer. It’s called a download. Now that I know what they are I tend to get very excited when I receive them. But for years I hated them! I used to wonder what was happening to me? Why won’t my ears stop ringing? Why can’t I hear very well? I would fight them. Rubbing my ears to try and get them to stop ringing. But now that I know what they are I welcome them. Thing is, it’s been weeks since I’ve had one and I’m worried that I won’t have another one. I’m still an empath, I can still connect to people, but the download was information, usually a lot of it. What kind of information? Most everything! Family, people I haven’t heard from in years, politics, information about people thousands of miles away of people that I know, and even people that I have never met but know of.
Today I looked at photos online of a certain ‘popular couple’ that have gotten together through their own prior divorces, not the mention they met on a certain t.v. show gig that they both did. But I could tell by looking at the couple’s photo that he is already looking around for the next woman. So this relationship is not going to go very far. How do I know this? It just popped in my head. The couple’s name is Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani. So we’ll see if I’m right, huh?
Of course, many Hollywood couples break up so I probably have a 90% accurate track record on this. HOWEVER, they are a fairly new couple and I could tell that he is already bored. But he won’t dump the one he’s with until he’s got the next one lined up.
I wrote this blog post on:
I Always Said it was the Boy
(But before you read anymore I have always been able to look at photos and see things that other people can’t. I can know the mood of the person/s in them. I can sometimes know what they are thinking, feeling, whether the smile is genuine, whether they like who they are sitting next to, whether they are struggling, and even if they are capable of being guilty.)
The Ramsey Family
Little JonBenet in the front, Burke in the Back
(All of this is my opinion. I have no facts to go on. Just my own opinion.)
I came across this article this morning:
The case of JonBenet Ramsey. Investigators land on theory of brother Burke Ramsey.
I always said it was the boy because of this family photo. The star of the show proudly in the front, while the boy stands in the back of the family. What that photo told me was probably how Burke was treated. I never thought that he killed his sister on purpose, but I think jealousy played a role. Resentment may have caused him to push her down the stairs or something. He was only 9 at the time.
I’m not saying that the parents ever harmed Burke or anything like that. I just think that all the attention was rained down on JonBenet while Burke was just left in back, just like the photo shows.
It also shows how Patsy also inserts herself in the front. Most parents of small children would have the children in front of them, but Patsy is the closet one to the camera, (once a beauty queen, always a beauty queen), with her protege beside her.
I never thought that the mother did it, as so many others did. You don’t invest that much time and money into a child your going to kill.
Now a days we invest in our 2.5 children. We fix their teeth, we give them nose jobs, groom them, train them, educate them. JonBenet had a bright future on the pageant circuit. Patsy herself was a former beauty pageant winner.
JonBenet was her protege.
You can also see in the photo how the husband just let Patsy run things as she pleased. He was probably very busy with his career so that they could have the life that they led. You can see that Patsy’s attention was on her star daughter, probably not her son.
I think they covered it up because they wanted to protect the child they had left. Maybe even blaming themselves for what Burke did. (If he indeed did do it.)
Very sad, but people are murdered every day in our country but we only focus our attention on the pretty, rich, white, ones.
Have a nice week,
Oh, and p.s. Patsy Ramsey is not about to have Jon Benet sitting on her lap in the photo above, it would obscure everyone’s view of herself.
I Got My Downloads
A few days ago I got my downloads, two days in a row. Happy to have them back! I was doing bills while at my computer and as I am writing the checks my ears started ringing loudly and I lost my hearing for a few minutes, I was thrilled!!
Christmas Day, 2016
I know it’s unusual for me to be blogging on Christmas morning what with all there is to do today. Cooking, cleaning up after each dish is cooked in the kitchen, cleaning up gift wrappings off the floor (although we haven’t opened any gifts yet), kids coming over to spend the day with their old parents later on, us. 🙂 But while I am sitting here drinking my coffee with Gordon preparing Grandma Nell’s cornbread dressing in the kitchen, I can smell it and it smells soooo good! Gordon has already put a pot of our wine and apple cider punch on the stove top, it will simmer all day and everyone can just help themselves to it throughout the day. It is stocked with every Christmas spice there is, cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, star anise, all spice berries, nutmeg, citrus from our key lime tree and Florida navel oranges, along with some clementines, and a can of pineapple rings. After it has been simmering all day I like to pick out some of the pineapple rings at the end of the day and eat them. So good! Just infused with all the spices and flavors. One of my favorite things to do.
Breakfast is always light because we know we will be eating big later on today. And we never eat any kind of formal lunch on Christmas day. We just snack on leftover sausage balls, drunken devil’s on horseback, cheeses and crackers, and of course, everyone helps themselves to the punch all day long.
You know, Christmas in your 50’s or older, when your kids are living elsewhere and it’s just the two of you, is actually quite nice. We even slept in until 8:30 this morning. The dogs were nice enough to let us sleep in. We haven’t even opened gifts yet. This Christmas is going to be ours to do as we please, not on some outdated time table stated to us by tradition. Oh, I’m not against some traditional things, but I just don’t see the importance as much as I used to. But back to the reason that I am blogging at 10:00 a.m. on this Christmas Day and fixing to make another cup of coffee for myself, it’s because of what I cannot get out of my head, that’s why I’m blogging.
As am empath I connect to people, to animals, to things, and sometimes I cannot break those connections, they have to just break naturally. For example, for the past few weeks I keep hearing this old song in my head that I just cannot shake. It’s a beautiful song sung by Mariah Carey and Boyz to Men. I’ll have to look the name of it up but I can’t get it out of my head. It pops in there when I shower (as I said, I pick up things in the shower), and it stays with me throughout the day. I find myself swaying to it as I wash dishes or just go about my day. But what you don’t’ understand is that to me it’s as if that song were being performed in front of me, live. I can’t see them performing it, but I can hear them performing it. It’s as if they are right in front of me singing that song, I can hear it word for word and I don’t even know the lyrics. Sure, I know the chorus, but that’s about it. Although because I’ve been hearing it in my head so much lately I probably do know all the words by now. Two days ago I was in the bedroom and I was swaying to the song as I was in my closet trying to pick out something to wear. Gordon asked me what I was doing because I wasn’t just standing there looking in my closet, I was swaying back and forth to the music. I just explained to him that I have this song in my head that I can’t get rid of. He then understood.
But this morning as I am trying to go about my Christmas Day the song popped into my head while I was in the shower and it has stayed with me ever since. I can even hear it now. It’s as if having a radio playing in the room with me while I type this, but playing the same song over and over again. But for me I don’t mind it. It’s a beautiful song, very religious and although I am more spiritual than religious, I do like it very much. Most of the time I don’t listen to music because there is so much emotion in music. Empath’s pick up enough emotion in life as it is, we don’t tend to want any more. So there are things that I avoid that most people are drawn to. For example, if given the choice I would rather see some action movie than some heartwarming relationship movie. It’s because of all the emotions that go into a “heartwarming” movie. But if I go and see some action movie then I feel nothing, which is what I want.
You will never catch me watching some holocaust movie because I can’t just shake off the horrors of that movie when it’s over with. I’m destroyed emotionally for about a week after watching it. I don’t get over it. It has to just eventually leave my body. You see, as am empath I pick up the emotions of the actors performances, the director as he directs this horror, the writer’s who wrote the movie/screen play, and most of all I pick up the sadness and suffering of those the movie is being written about. Then translate that into my sitting in a movie theater with hundreds of people watching it and factoring in their emotions, then understand what all is now inside of me and maybe you can understand why it takes me a week just to get over going to see a sad movie. Now do you understand why I would rather see a mindless action movie?
But getting back to the song I keep hearing in my head. This is it, One Sweet Day.
(I started writing this part the day after Christmas but didn’t end up finishing it until Dec. 28th.)
But back to why this song has been playing in my head for the past two weeks. This is what it’s like to be an empath. I don’t know why this song has been playing in my head for the past two weeks. All I can figure is that I am connected to someone, or a group of someone’s, and I am picking this up from them. Although surprisingly, today it’s not as strong. Maybe because it is the day after Christmas??
This is where detective work comes into play. (Which is why I always thought I would make a great detective.) Detectives do a lot of thinking.
Believe it or not, but my most favorite thing to do in life, IS TO THINK.
I could think for hours and hours and do nothing else and be stimulated. Weird, huh?
Because I don’t know who I am connected to, I can only make guesses, so I will start by saying that my interpretation of this is that I am connected to the African-American community and their grieving for the loss of all the many loved ones they have lost through gun violence or police brutality. Prior to all the video surveillance we have today, no one ever believed the black community when they would talk about how targeted they are. Now that we have all seen the evidence, we believe them.
I think that the song was originally written because an important person, perhaps a manager, or producer, was killed to gun violence, so the song was dedicated to him by Boyz to Men. It’s such a beautiful song and they sing it with such soul.
That is what I think anyway. Or rather, all that I can come up with.
The other explanation is that I do have a friend in another country, who’s identity I will keep to myself for now, that has colon cancer and this may be her last Christmas. I have been very sad about this as she is probably my only TRUE friend in life. Luckily, she is surrounded by her children and grandchildren right now and having a wonderful Christmas and holiday season. We sent them 3 boxes of Christmas goodies this year. Some things she requested, others I threw in just because……
I also remembered her grand-daughters and sent them some things from America.
She is probably the only friend that I have ever had in my life that loves me for me, and not what she wants me to be. I cannot tell you how many “friends” I have had that will “punish” me because I didn’t live up to their expectations. Or I did something that they didn’t approve of. I think the “punishment” is definitely a southern thing, but also a religious thing. Christian’s believe in punishing people. I cannot tell you how many “friends” I have had that will take it upon themselves to deliver a punishment towards me. Perhaps not answering my phone calls for two weeks until I have ‘learned my lesson’? Or refusing to have anything to do with me until I have ‘earned their friendship’? No thanks. I had a friend named Sharon that would punish me all the time for not being able to read her mind and know what she wanted from me. (Yeah, well, I can’t ALWAYS read minds, just sometimes.) 🙂
Finally one day after being ignored for a good two weeks, (seems to be their time table on having others learn lessons, I decided to just stay punished forever and never had anything to do with her again.)
Having shared this with you I do still hear the song but not as loudly and not as often. Writing things down for me seems to help me sort things out sometimes.
I hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas,
December 28, 2016
I have spoken to you about “downloads” before. Well, the most unusual thing happened to me about a week and a half ago. I experienced one of the longest and loudest downloads that I have ever had in my life. The ringing in my ears was so loud and it lasted close to 15 minutes. I literally had to stop what I was doing and sit down to take it all in. Most of my downloads take about one to two minutes, not fifteen!!
When I do get a download it’s a flood of info downloaded into me, except I don’t understand it all at the time of download. It’s kind of like my taking a lot of photos with my camera, then I download them onto my computer. They are not necessarily in any kind of order, they are not always organized or named, or sorted, but they are all in a file. Then I go into that file and sort them all out and put them in order and then I understand them. That is what an empathic download is. Even now I don’t fully understand all of that info, but I will in time.
January 25, 2017
What I See
I’ve written in the past how I have seen some strange things throughout my life and that because I am so used to seeing them, they don’t scare me or upset me. But I never really went into exactly what “strange” things that I am referring to. So I thought I would talk about it.
Earlier this month I was out at the beach condo for 10 days. I had a family to vacate it early in the month, and I had to get it all ready for our long term winter renters from Wisconsin, they stay about 12 weeks every year. So there is a lot of work in getting it ready for their very long stay. So I make the best out of it and just go and enjoy myself, in addition to all the spring cleaning that needs to be done. Also the shopping to stock the place up, make some repairs, clean the carpets, etc. Because it’s January that isn’t the best beach weather, but I did get to the beach a few times. Just to walk, pick up some shells, and even have a sunset appetizer picnic with Gordon.
Me, on our beach just chillin’.
Some wine and pu-pu’s.
Gordon waiting for our sunset.
It didn’t disappoint!
I did have a wonderful time out there mostly by myself. Gordon joined me for the weekend and had some fun. It was his birthday weekend. The weather turned from hot to warm to cold to cool. Typical of our weather this time of year. We do have our cold days but they don’t last long.
Another thing that I do a lot of while I am out at the condo is to work on my website. With the ocean view and the peace and quiet, I get a lot of inspiration and a lot of work done. It is my creative outlet. So one afternoon as I was sitting at the table working on my website I suddenly see this ring of bright, white hovering about 18 inches over my computer. It was probably 14 inches in diameter and it was this bright, bright, white. The best way I know how to describe it was that it was a halo. Seriously! It just hovered there for about 2 seconds and then it disappeared. I had never seen anything like it before. It was mid afternoon but it was a cold, gray, day out at the condo. The thing is, it was glowing but the glow was moving. The best way I know how to describe it is to take a twig wreath and place it on the table flat. Now douse it in gasoline and then light it. You would see flames of fire moving, some flames higher than others. That is exactly what this looked like but it was this pure white.
I know what you are thinking. It must have just been a reflection from a car driving by, or perhaps a coast guard airplane that we see fly by occasionally. I always take those things into consideration as well. But this wasn’t reflecting off anything, it was hovering. A circle of the brightest white I have ever seen, but it didn’t hurt my eyes to look at it. I was so excited that just happened to me! I was thrilled to see it. I have no idea what it was, but I loved it!
This is a very good example of when I talk about how I see strange things. I don’t know what they are, they don’t hurt me, they don’t scare me, I guess in a way they are my own little UFO’s.
Another example is one day a few years ago I was very upset about how my mother was treating me. I do write about my history with her in another blog. But I was very upset and crying. I was laying down on the couch and looking up at the ceiling fan light above me. It wasn’t on. But suddenly I saw this little twinkling light about 1 in. in diameter around the light. It was small and round, perfectly round. As I was looking at it another one appeared, then another, then another, then another. At one point there were so many and they were all twinkling that I couldn’t count them. I can only guess that there must have been about 50 of them. I was so fascinated by this that I stopped crying and reached out to them. But they didn’t come toward my hand. They just twinkled all above. Again, they were hovering all around the light fixture, not reflecting off of anything. Some were as low as 2 feet below the light fixture, just twinkling away. What were they? I have no idea. I don’t think they were orbs because I have seen orbs before. Orbs are very quick and they dart around a room whereas these lights just twinkled, hovering all around the light fixture.
Another interesting encounter for me was when we were living in Hawaii out in Ewa Beach. I was in the kitchen sitting at the kitchen table and painting. I was doing craft fairs at that time and I always had my paints, stencils, clay pots, tiles and coconuts everywhere. Whenever I had any free time I would sit down and start painting. I loved it! Well, as I was sitting there I looked up the hallway because something caught my eye. I saw what looked like a person walk by but the person was all blurry. Have you ever seen that movie Predator with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Do you remember how the alien could make himself invisible but yet you could see this blurr walking around so you knew that it was him? THAT is what this person looked like! I got up to look down the hallway to see if I could see him, I think it was a him, but I didn’t see anything. I saw that blurry man at least twice while we lived there.
Interestingly enough, I was holding Brodie one day when he was about 2, and I noticed that he was intensely looking down our hallway, the same hallway that I saw that blurry man. I asked him what he was looking at? He then replied, “A scary.” I looked, but I didn’t see anything. But I believed him because I had seen strange things too.
NOTE: I never told Gordon or Veronica or Brodie what I saw at that time. I just kept those things to myself. Not because I was afraid of what they may think of me, but because when you’ve seen these things your entire life they become normal to you. Kind of like my saying to Gordon, ‘Hey, I saw a butterfly today.’ Is there really any reason to bring that up? Well, that’s why I never said anything.
They say that children are born with psychic abilities. Babies seem to know instinctively who is good and won’t harm them, and who isn’t good. Children also had invisible friends that they would play with. You may even see children in their rooms talking to someone that isn’t there. One incident that I read about was when a woman was changing the diaper of her new baby in the nursery, her 3 year old asked her why she wasn’t saying hello to the man? Her mother asked her, “What man?” The child then responded, “The one standing next to you.”
As someone that has experienced these kinds of things my entire life I can tell you they exist. Perhaps you shouldn’t be telling your 5 year old to quit talking to someone that isn’t there. I mean, just because YOU can’t see them, doesn’t mean they don’t exist.
I wrote a very nice write up for Sugar’s passing:
I’m very proud that Monk and I were with her till the end. She died wagging her tail.
How many of us are happy on the day of our passing? Sugar was.
I wanted to add something about Sugar’s passing and what happened to me when I got home from taking her to be put down that I didn’t write in the Monk and Sugar blog post, but I wanted to save it for here.
As an empath I am also connected to animals because they are empathic as well.
Here is the photo I took of Monk sitting in his car seat on our way to put Sugar down. I think his face says it all. You can plainly see that he is upset. But for me, I not only see how sad he is, I feel how sad he is. Which makes me sadder because I also have his feeling’s inside of me.
This is Sugar’s last photo.
What I wanted to write about here was what happened to us when Monk and I got back home from having Sugar put down.
On the way home I was sobbing, I had been sobbing for hours that day. Tears streaming down my face. I could hardly see to drive, I had to keep wiping away tears. My eyes were all big, red, and swollen. It had been raining all day and as I was taking Monk and Sugar in and out of the car at home and at the vet, I had no umbrella but I didn’t care. You don’t care how you look when you’re sad and upset. But to paint a picture for you, I looked horrible!
When I was driving down my street I did notice a mother, child, and a black lab walking down the sidewalk. I really didn’t pay much attention to them as I just wanted to get inside my house and collapse for all the emotional exhaustion that I felt. I backed my car into the driveway like I always do. I always park with my car facing toward the street. I do this so the many neighbor’s that either live on our street, or drive down it, don’t see my website name on the back of my car. My website is becoming more personal so to tell you the truth I’m not so sure I want a lot of people reading it anymore. I would much rather have strangers read it than people that I know. Also the reason that I did all this kind of advertising to begin with was because of the beach condo. Trying to drum up some business for it. But now things are very successful that booking it isn’t a problem. But that can change in a heart beat with a bad economy.
Anyway, once I had backed into the driveway, and opened the garage door, I was retrieving my purse and some things from the passenger front seat, I suddenly hear this woman yell out to me, “Don’t worry, she won’t hurt you!” I turned around to see this very sweet black lab dog was standing there just smiling, (yes, smiling) and wagging her tail, (I think it was a girl. A young girl.) Apparently the dog had broken free from the child and ran over to me. I could tell that this sweet dog just wanted to give me a big hug. I don’t know whether she knew Monk was still in the car or not, but she was very interested in me. I responded to the woman that I know she won’t hurt me. We used to have a black lab ourselves many years ago. As ugly as I looked I felt like I should offer up an explanation so I told the woman that we had just put our dog Sugar down. I’m sure she could visibly see the tears streaming down my face.
The woman responded to what I told her by dragging her daughter and the black lab away from me. How rude to be just treated that way after what I had just gone through. At first I tried to justify her behavior towards me as’ I guess that she was uncomfortable and didn’t know what to say’, etc. But I then realized that I would never do that to anyone no matter how uncomfortable I would be. I would have handled the situation by giving my condolences and then being on my way. I would not have dragged my child and dog away from someone that was visibly in pain. But to be rejected like that when I was at my lowest just made me feel worse.
But then I realized that I was given love and support by the black lab that saw me in pain and ran over to make me feel better. The black lab immediately erased inside of me all the rudeness that I had just experienced by that woman. The dog knew I was in pain and ran over to comfort me. Animals can do that so much better than human’s can.
(Please read all of it before you judge me, then you can just away all you want to!)
August 31, 2017
My Ears Would Not Stop Ringing!!!!
Sunday night, August 27, 2017, I was browsing my social media stuff when I looked at my Instagram feed of people that I follow, when I saw something that Brooklyn Decker had posted of a t-shirt with I believe it said, “Texas Forever.”
(I’ll get to the Brooklyn Decker drama in a minute.)
That immediately took me back to Hurricane Katrina that slammed into New Orleans back in 2005. I remember it very well. George W. Bush was President. The entire world was outraged and saddened by what they witnessed on the news.
They were pretty much left there to die.
Hurricane Katrina, 2005
After the hurricane hit and was nearing its end, residents claim they heard two loud explosions and then here comes the water! (And yes, they said they heard “Explosions.”) Which incidentally, back in 1927 during the Great Flood, the levees were blown up and flooded the poor and black neighborhoods because the water was going to spill over into the well off white neighborhoods. So, they blew the levees to spare the wealthier neighborhoods? Huh? And that was 1927?
‘They’re Trying To Wash Us Away’
Charley Patton influenced musicians for decades to come. More than 70 years later, Patton’s music about the Great Flood received a tribute from a musician who is legendary in his own right: Bob Dylan released “High Water (For Charley Patton)” in 2001. The rhythm of the music sounds like the constant churn of unrelenting water, a signature Patton sound.
Dylan paid tribute to another song from the Great Flood: 1929’s “When the Levee Breaks,” by Memphis Minnie and Kansas Joe McCoy. The song was also covered by Led Zeppelin in 1971 with the same words, but the band completely rebuilt the musical structure.
When these sentiments re-emerge, it’s like old wine in a new bottle. When Randy Newman wrote “Louisiana 1927” in 1974, he reached back to the Great Flood.
“[Newman] says, ‘They’re trying to wash us away,’ ” Brown says. “And the reason he says that is that in 1927, the political elite decided that to save New Orleans, they would blow up the levee and basically destroy St. Bernard and Plaquemines Parish. The people who lived there who were flooded out after the levee was blown were never compensated for their loss. They were washed away. ‘They’re trying to wash us away.’ “
For Brown, Memphis Minnie’s “When the Levee Breaks” remains the ultimate flood song. He says it has a “plaintive nature to it that if it keeps on raining, the levee’s gonna break; there’s nothing you can do about it.”
When the Levees Blew up, a Public Execution of a Community
Our Government Blowing the Levees to Kill People, 1927
If they blew the levee’s to spare the wealthier white neighborhoods in 1927, then why not repeat history and blow them again to spare the white wealthier neighborhoods in 2005? Many people/residents of New Orleans heard the explosions before the water came rushing in.
Our political climate at the time was very pro-republican, and anti- democrat in how they viewed blacks as lazy, blacks drain our economy dry with their welfare, and food stamps, etc. etc. etc.
As someone that grew up in the south and lived in several southern states I can tell you that racism has always been alive and well. Although each and every racist I’ve ever encountered will swear they aren’t racist. I’ve heard things like, ‘I don’t’ like blacks, I don’t like Jews, and I don’t’ like Muslims, but I’m not racist.’ Uh, huh……
I can tell you why white republicans don’t like democrats. It’s because they see us as the party of blacks and they refuse to be in the party of blacks. So they will vote republican even though it goes against their better interest because it’s all about racism.
When I would watch the movie, Gone With The Wind, I always wondered why the poor whites were still so mean to the poor blacks? I mean, why not band together? Strength in numbers! But no! Because the only way the poor whites could feel good about themselves was to discriminate against the blacks. How pathetic is that? Times are no different now. Still the same mindset.
NOTE: I am a Democrat but I am registered as an Independent here in Florida because the Republicans are known to find reasons to knock Democrats off the voting roster, especially Democrats with “scary” last names like, Whann. But Republicans do tend to leave people that are registered as Independents alone because they see them as Libertarians, and Libertarians tend to vote Republican. My secret is out!
Which brings me to why I posted what I did on Brooklyn Decker’s Instagram.
First of all, I don’t even know why I followed her to begin with? I think I saw something that she had designed and I thought that was cool, so I started following her. The only thing I really know about her was that she starred in a movie, filmed in Hawaii, with Jennifer Aniston, and that she’s married to a tennis player, Andy Roddick? Other than that, I don’t really know anything about her. But, that is why I started following her, to maybe learn something. I do have my diehard celebs that I follow on a regular basis, but I wanted to expose myself to some new people as well.
(I Googled her just now to find a photo of her to post here and this was the most “conservative” one I could find. The rest of them are of her looking absolutely fabulous in a bikini. That’s all fine and good, except I don’t care about that.)
But, getting to the drama……
On August 27, 2017 as I was looking through my Instagram feed, I saw that Brooklyn had posted that t-shirt that said, ” Texas Forever.”
That is when everything that I know about Texas, Louisiana, Katrina, Harvey, The Great Flood of 1927, our Government, etc. came flooding into my brain and I made a comment on her page that said, something to this effect: ‘Interesting enough, Texas didn’t care much when New Orleans was drowning. And how I feel for the children and animals at this time.’ Something to that effect. To tell you the truth, I don’t even remember exactly what I said. I suppose that I could plow through Brooklyn Decker’s Instagram account, but I don’t care to. If you want to look it up you can. My Instagram name is:
Here are the responses I received from my comment:
I regret that I chose Brooklyn Decker’s Instagram to post my comment. I think it would have been more understood on someone like Soledad O’Brien’s, or Joy Reid’s, or Alyssa Milano’s, accounts. They are just more informed about the hypocrisy. So that is my only regret.
Also, that night I received 52 Instagram visits to my website over a period of 2 hours. I suppose that they saw my comment, went to my Instagram Profile Page, noticed that I had never posted anything, but saw my website link, and visited it, probably to check me out. Out of those 52 visitors to my website, only 4 made comments, including, Brooklyn Decker.
I don’t have anything against any of these people. They are allowed their comments just as I was. You see, when you have an account and you allow comments on it, then you get comments. If you don’t like those comments, then perhaps you should remove your “comment” page.
Back in 2005, after about 3-4 days of suffering from Hurricane Katrina, because of public outcry the Bush Administration was forced to help those people. Do you know who was first on the scene in New Orleans to help?
THE CANADIAN MOUNTIES!!!
CANADA was the first responders. CANADA!
Not America, not George W. Bush, NOT TEXASS, but CANADA!!
Did you also know that the private army, BLACKWATER, (now known as XE) is owned by Eric Prince, (Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos’s brother) was called in to prevent anyone from leaving New Orleans? They positioned themselves on bridges and roads with their guns and pointed them at anyone that tried to leave the city. This information comes from not only the residents of New Orleans but tourists from around the world that were trapped in there as well. They all have the same story.
When help finally got into New Orleans and people were able to leave, Vermont offered to take every single displaced person. Vermont is as close to a socialist state that we have here. Former Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders is from Vermont. It was at that point when the White House, The Republican Establishment, and the Republicans of Texas decided to open up the Houston Astrodome to the New Orleans evacuees, after September 1, 2017.
It is said that 1,300 people lost their lives in Hurricane Katrina.
Oh, and did you ever hear about that number on the news? No? Huh.
Could it be because Black Lives Don’t Matter??
Which brings me to my point about Texass, and about the ringing in my ears, hence my blog post title.
The people of Texas are Republican in majority by a huge margin. Republicans don’t have a problem gutting services and programs that help people. Like welfare, food stamps, school lunches for poor children, after school programs, boys and girls organizations, Planned Parenthood, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc…….
Republicans love to elect representatives like Ted Cruz who voted against aid for Hurricane Sandy victims in 2012. They overwhelmingly voted for Donald Trump this past election because they want him to gut aid that helps people, and to remove regulations so that our food, water, air, is not safe. For what purpose? I have no idea, yet that is how they vote.
These same people did their best to crucify Barack Obama and his Presidency, because he was a black man. Republicans like blacks that do for them. For example, they love Condoleeza Rice. Condoleeza Rice is a black woman that does for white people. That’s what they like. That’s why they like Ben Carson. He’s a black man that does for white people. But they saw Barack Obama as a black man that would help black people and they couldn’t stand it!
Just to clarify, Condoleeza’s political views mostly help white people. Perhaps a few blacks, Asians, Hispanics, etc. benefit from her political views, but not very many. Same with Ben Carson.
That mindset goes back to the slave days in the south. Blacks are supposed to do for you! That’s how they see it anyway.
Another example: I have a very racist neighbor in our neighborhood that is very aged and he has his African-American care giver stroll him about our neighborhood. So to the average person they might think that he wouldn’t have a black care giver if he was racist. Well, I say to you, yes he would! The racists look at it as ‘black people are supposed to do for you.’ Understand now?
The reason that the Republican party didn’t want Vermont to take in the Hurricane Katrina evacuees is because they know that by sending them up north, Vermont would educate them, and they don’t want that. As one Republican representative in my home state of Georgia said something to this effect, ‘we don’t want abortion because blacks are cheap labor.’ (This was said about 5 -6 years ago and I can’t recall the name of the woman who said it. I did try Googling it but I didn’t see it. But I do remember her saying it quite well.)
So to the Brooklyn Decker’s of this world and her supporters who are telling me to “educate myself?”
I say, I AM the one that’s educated! Now it’s your turn.
And where does the ears ringing come into play?
Because I had posted that post, and tons of people saw it and were thinking about me, I could not get to sleep for HOURS that night! HOURS! My ears would not stop ringing, and very loudly I might add. That is the curse of what I am! I could never be a celebrity. I could never be in the public eye. I’m highly sensitive. My empathic self puts me in the 20%, but my other abilities puts me in the 5%. I couldn’t sleep for 2 days because of my knowing and feeling what all those people were thinking about me. Saying about me. I could feel their hate inside of me. I could see the facial expressions of these many women coming to look at my website and hating me for my comments. Only 4 may have written a response, and 52 visited my website, but so very many more saw what I wrote. I connected to them as well.
For Every Gift, There Is A Curse!
Stay Tuned for more Texas…….I’ll hide it down here. 🙂
I just need somewhere to hide this so that it reaches the right people and not the majority. And if you are reading this then you are the right person. 🙂
My step-father was from a small town in Texas, outside Dallas called, Pecan Gap. He grew up very poor in a rotten family. His family did own lots of land though, having land on both sides of the channel. He grew up playing with dinosaur bones they would find along the channel. He found many arrowheads, broken pottery, sharks teeth, fossils galore, and lots of dinosaur bones. Texas did used to be underwater.
His father, Papa Carlton, was a cotton farmer, when he wasn’t drunk. The Lancaster family house was the drinking house in Pecan Gap. The county they lived in was dry, meaning you couldn’t buy alcohol there. So Carlton would drive to the next county in his pick up truck every weekend, and load up with liquor and drive back home. Everyone would then congregate at Carlton and Lorene’s house on the weekend and get drunk. When my step-father was 5, he and his 4 year old brother Donald, were playing on the porch, they heard an argument between two men outside. They watched as one man took out a gun and shot the other man. He then ran off. The Lancaster’s, and the other people that were drinking, ran outside when they heard the gunshot, and saw the dead body. So what did they do? They drug it out into the field and left it there.
My step-father even said to me about 2 decades ago that when he goes home he sees that man that shot that other man and ran off. I then said to him, “Why don’t you report him for murder then?” My step-father then tore into me with a verbal tirade about how it’s none of my business, and that I’m just a trouble maker. Yeah? Me?
When my step-father turned 16 his father took him to the “Whore House” as his birthday gift. Yeah, his father got him laid on his birthday. Are you starting to understand Texas now?
And if you dare say to me that just because the Lancaster’s were terrible it doesn’t mean that most Texan’s are?
My response to you is dead silence.
I remember when we were living in Rockingham, N.C., I was 17 at the time, and my step-father was in his early 40’s, he found out that he had an 11 year old brother. Apparently while Carlton’s farmhand was drunk and plowing the field’s in crooked rows, Carlton was bedding the man’s wife. Ended up getting her pregnant and of course, as always, the truth comes out 11 years later.
As my mother told them at the time on the telephone, “This is like a Dallas Episode.”
My step-father’s mother, Lorene Parker Lancaster’s mother was known as, Grandmother Parker. My brother Ben’s middle name is Parker after her. Well, at Grandmother Parker’s funeral, 2 of my step-cousins were having sex together behind a tombstone at the cemetery while everyone else was presiding over her grave.
There is also an actor in the Parker family by the name of Jacob Parker. He is another cousin. He starred in the t.v. sitcom with Burt Reynold and Marilu Henner called Evening Shade.
Also, at the time we were living in Rockingham my step-father’s sister, Betty Ann was married to some guy name Ronnie that threatened to kill all the Lancaster’s, including us in North Carolina. Well, he ended up in prison where the sheriff would let him out everyday to help train his horses. Except one day a horse fell on Ronnie and he got injured really badly. Except the sheriff wouldn’t take him to the hospital because then he would be found out that he let prisoner’s out to break his horses, so Ronnie died in prison. Of course, as always, the truth does come out….. blah, blah, blah…..
Interestingly enough, no one mourned the death of Ronnie, not even Betty Ann, his wife.
My step-father has another sister as well, Barbra Sue. She is the baby. Her daughter, Angie, lives in Houston, works for the oil company. She probably lost everything.
Barbra Sue’s first husband was a thief. She found that out right after she married and found stolen merchandise in her home that she knew was stolen.
Another Lancaster cousin by the name of Billie Ann apparently owed a lot of money to drug dealers who beat her up so badly that she was hospitalized. This was right after 9/11. So while the nurses were all gathered watching George W. Bush’s statement to the nation on t.v. about the “attackers,” Billy Ann died in her room all alone.
Jesse is in his teens but when he was a baby his teenage parents went on a high speed chase with him in the back seat. When they were about to be pulled over by the cops, his parent put their gun inside his diaper. His parents were arrested, and Jesse was turned over to his grandmother to raise him.
My children, Veronica and Brodie, as well as my nephew Joseph, know Jesse very well. He is known for his desire for “EXTRA, EXTRA, BUTTER” on his popcorn at the movie theater. Which he tends to proclaim very loudly.
Don’t even get me started on my step-father’s sister Betty Ann and her brood. (As my step-brother would refer to them as.)
And there is my step-brother as well. Lots, and Lots, and Lots, there.
I have more but I think that is enough for now. I’m tired of talking about Texass.
I did want to end with this. For those of you who are wondering how I can be so hard on Texas what with all their suffering right now? I mean, if I truly am an empath, then wouldn’t their tragic hardship upset me? Here is the best way that I can explain it to you.
It is because I AM an empath that my feelings are more for the children and animals at this time.
You see, there are good people everywhere. In every country, even those countries that you may not like. There are good people in Texas and it is those good people that I grieve over in their tragic hardship at this time.
There are people that believe in charity and helping others even those they won’t benefit in anyway from it. Then there are people that only believe in charity when they need it and want it.
A Republican politician in Texas, Secretary of State Renaldo Pablos, just turned down a generous donation from Canada of sending blankets, beds, pillows, sanitary products, as well as electricians to help restore power, and what did he do? He turned them down and told them to just send “prayers.”
The man doesn’t believe in charity. The funny thing is that Texas elected him. And they elected him because they themselves don’t believe in charity. He represents them! But now that they need help? They believe in charity!
This is why I’m hard on Texas. This is why I hope that perhaps the people of Texas now understanding hardship might just change their minds about helping others. I just hope some good comes out of it.